Cuba Gooding Jr. Tries to Eat a Phone at LIV, Illustrates How to Lose All Chill While Partying in Miami

There is nothing worse about partying in Miami than running into the tourist who is just a little too excited to be partying in Miami and has lost all possible chill as a result. You know exactly what we're talking about, but in case you don't, well, Cuba Gooding Jr. came to town this weekend and perfectly illustrated how to make a fool of yourself while having a good time on South Beach. 

Gooding won an Oscar for Jerry Maguire at the age of 28 and then hit a midcareer slump that included starring in films such as Snow Dogs, Boat Trip, and Daddy Day Care. Now he's back on top thanks to his starring role as O.J. Simpson in FX's hit American Crime Story, and apparently he's loving every minute of it. 

Gooding hit up Miami this past weekend to revel in the success, and his good time started out fine enough. According to Page Six, he spent Thursday dining with superproducer Jerry Bruckheimer at the new Brickell hot spot Komodo. When the weekend rolled around, Gooding was ready to let lose at Story. 

“He hopped on stage shirtless during DJ Kaskade’s set and started spraying the crowd with a CO2 cannon. He was dancing up a storm," says Page Six's source. "He ripped off his shirt and hopped on top of the DJ booth and went crazy. He was having a good time.”

Then, Sunday, Gooding took the party to LIV, where he repeated similar shenanigans, except this time he tried to eat someone's phone. Unfortunately for Gooding, there was ample social media documenting his night. 

#cubagoodingjr BEYOND lit at #livonsunday in #Miami - powered @headlinerworld

A video posted by Baller Alert (@balleralert) on

Bro, Bette Midler's tweet was directed at Kim Kardashian, not you. 

#BallerAlert - spotted - #cubagoodingjr lit at #livonsunday - powered by @headlinerworld

A video posted by Baller Alert (@balleralert) on

Page Six also reports that Gooding was more than "frisky" with women, freely trying to pass his hotel key around and texting girls to meet up with him. 

In 2014, the 48-year-old actor ended his 20-year marriage. 

Listen, Cuba, we know you're just trying to have a fun time, and we're sure you gave everyone at LIV and Story lots to talk about, but you are demonstrating no chill. This is some drunk-uncle-in-the-club mess. 

You broke every rule of how not to make a spectacle of yourself in a Miami club, including the following: 

1. Don't jump onto any elevated platform to dance above a crowd. The clubs pay people to do that. 
2. Keep your clothes on, and if you have to take your shirt off, don't put it on your head. 
3. Go easy on the alcoholic beverages, and pace yourself by drinking water. 
4. Don't be too forward with trying to get laid. No one likes that, and when it works, you probably won't like it too much in the morning. 
5. If you're going to be a mess, do not do it at two of the most prominent (and photographed) clubs in all of Miami Beach. There are plenty of places to act a mess in this town where your chances of ending up on TMZ the next morning are not guaranteed. LIV and Story are not those places. 

Congratulations on the hit TV show, though! 
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Kyle Munzenrieder