If Crossfade were a superstar DJ, we wouldn't perform a single show without four cases of cherry vanilla cola, two bottles of Black Label whisky, a picture of our mom, a pink umbrella, and a drumming monkey.
That's not even too bad. Just take a look at the ridiculous requests from some of your favorite selectors.
What the hell do you think they need all this shit for? After all, they're only pressing buttons.
First of all, Deadmau5's rider is long as fuck. It's like he's making the promoter do all of his banal daily shopping. They've got to pick up and provide his cigarettes, his socks, his shower gel, his orange chocolate. But he's on the road, we get it. The weird thing? He asks for an inflatable animal at least five feet tall.
DJ Pauly D
Everyone's favorite blown-out herp derp has a rather standard rider and an irrational ego. He demands a special VIP area for friends and guests, complete with champagne to spray on the audience and a per diem charge of $150 per person. Oh, and he makes the openers perform in a separate booth. Hiding something, are we, Pauly?
For his Fuck Me, I'm Famous tour, the Mickey Mouse of EDM went all out with the goodies. His rider (specifically for the Roseland Ballroom) reads like a CVS aisle on Valentine's Day. Lots of giant hearts, teddy bears, foam stars and hands, giant champagne cups, a glitter machine, lollipops, red carpets, and Ibiza girls. Wait, girls? Whatever, he's famous.
Of course, Steve Aoki has a ridiculous rider. Everything about him is ridiculous. But if you've ever witnessed his stage show, none of the requests are too surprising. Promoters must provide soft cakes that say "Dim Mak" for throwing in faces, corked champagne bottles for spraying, and an inflatable boat for going ho-surfing. But did you know he also demands an eighth of local weed? Das wassup.
Francis is the EDM world's biggest trollface. So obviously, his rider is absurd. With a hint of sarcasm, he asks for a framed picture of any action star circa 1985-2005, a bag of rice (he hates Jasmine), a piñata full of candy, a replication of Indiana Jones's whip, black tar heroin, an Amish-made electrical fireplace, VHS porn, a signed photo of Avicii, and the promoter's girlfriend's phone number.
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But hands down, Diplo's recently revealed rider takes the motherfucking cake. (Sorry, Steve.) Bro has the best optional fare, including but not limited to, two air horns, two inflatable animals (bonus if endangered), four blank Maxwell cassettes (new in package), a 1983 G.I. Joe Storm Shadow action figure, a framed picture of himself, a Malawian orphan, an arranged marriage, a new original NES still in package, a parrot trained to say your name, a dart board with Nicolas Cage's face, and a 1983 Yak Face Star Wards Return of the Jedi action figure. Damn. What a boss.