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| Columns |

Beatles' Offspring Threaten Sanctity of Legendary Liverpool Group

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Lamarckism, the idea that a person can pass on traits acquired in life to their offspring, has been around since the early 1900s. In 2012, however, it's triggered a revival in the worst way.

Some asshole thinks it might be a good idea to form the Beatles - Next Generation, starring the Lennon, McCartney, Harrison and Starkey

sons. In a

recent interview with BBC News, Paul's son, James McCartney, said they've mulled the

idea over and, embarrassingly, he's down. 

Of course, we're feeling absolutely mortified.

The entertainment industry is clearly at a low point. But c'mon, taking the respective offspring of what is arguably the greatest, most influential and important band of all time in an effort to sell tickets is goddamn atrocious. And frankly, such an act would never cut it.

For starters, they'll immediately be compared to the

original Fab Four, and nothing can come close to their magic. Ask the Gallagher brothers of Oasis, they've been trying for decades! 

Secondly, the Beatles' sons are not the Beatles. They did not and could not live their fathers' respective lives. They'll never walk down those long and winding roads that lead to the creation of these wonderful songs. And they can't perform them with true artistic intent.

Reeking of cheap, thin imitation, Next Generation would almost certainly fall flat. Thankfully, there are no solid plans as of yet to launch this hypothetical train wreck.

In fact, the whole thing feels more like an after-thought blown entirely out of proportion by the media than an imminent possibility. If it's true, however, this may be the end that the Mayans predicted.

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