Happy Birthday, Nielson! The SoundScan system just turned 20. And although it's probably on its deathbed, Billboard is celebrating the watermark with a series of chart-topping lists.
The latest release: The top 100 pop songs since the system's implementation, back in '92. Some Miami-bred musicians made the cut, with Pitbull, Flo Rida, and Jason Derulo all making multiple appearances.
But let's get real for a second. All us music snobs know popular doesn't necessarily mean good. So we here at Crossfade have compiled our own list of the 20 worst Billboard pop hits of the last 20 years.
You really thought we were gonna be nice about it?
20. B.O.B. feat. Hayley Williams "Airplanes," #99
Nothing about the melody embodies the desperate nature of the lyrics, and that's how you know this song is McMusic.
19. Nelly feat. Tim McGraw "Over and Over Again," #92
When this song came out, it covered the world in its gooey twang-hop mess and wouldn't let go. Unforgivable.
18. Nickelback All ("Someday" #91, "Far Away" #49, and "How You Remind Me" #11)
It's Nickelback. 'Nuff said.
17. Natasha Bedingfield "Unwritten," #87
Feel like this bitch wrote a song about not knowing what to write, then injected it with bad metaphors and vapid, uplifting nonsense.
16. The Pussycat Dolls "Stickwitu," #79
In the running for most trite lyrics of all time.
15. Avril Lavigne "Complicated," #73
This pop punk turd ruined the tie t-shirt combo forever when she dropped this cheesy load across malls everywhere in 2002. She and Chad Kroeger deserve each other.
14. Black Eyed Peas "I Got A Feeling," #64
If it weren't for Nickelback, post-Fergie BEP might be the worst band ever. This obnoxious, formulaic heart-warmer is probably their worst crime against humanity.
13. Savage Garden "I Knew I Loved You," #53
May induce vomiting.
12. Flo Rida "Good Feeling," #41
Because the world was missing another "Le7els."
11. Fergie "Big Girls Don't Cry," #39
Like a child misses her blanket? So, you're saying your love is like a crippling childish addiction that impedes social development?
10. All-American Rejects "Hope It Gives You Hell," #33
AAR was the worst thing to come of the pop punk movement, and that says a lot.
9. Creed "With Arms Wide Open," #32
For a Christian band, they sure put out a lot of hellfire spawn spew. Fuck Scott Stapp.
8. Hoobastank "The Reason," #29
The only good thing about this song is watching this guy tear it a new asshole.
7. Gym Class Heroes feat. Adam Lavine "Stereo Hearts," #28
GCH are a bunch of fuckin' wankers. "Because good music can be so hard to find" is the most ironic song lyric of all time.
6. LMFAO "Party Rock Anthem," #20
Everyday I'm shuffling? Like, really doh? Rick Ross should dick slap you.
5. Maroon 5 feat. Christina Aguilera "Moves Like Jagger," #18
What the fuck does that even mean?
4. Ke$ha, "Tik Tok," #15
This song is "California Girls." Like, literally. They're literally the same exact fucking song.
3. 3 Doors Down "Here Without You," #8
Nothing sucks harder than the last-ditch pop-crossover banality of a one-hit wonder rock band struggling to stay relevant.
2. Timbaland feat. One Republic "Apologize," #3
This song was like a cancer and we're lucky to be in remission.
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1. Goo Goo Dolls "Iris," #1
I just want you to know who I am, bro.