Your Miami Zombie Halloween Costume Is a Terrible Idea, You Dick

Hey, remember last summer, when a guy chewed another guy's face off on the MacArthur Causeway? And then the police blamed bath salts? And then all anybody could talk about for the next month was Rudy Eugene and whether he was possessed and Ron Poppo and hey did you know he was homeless and drugs are scary, huh?

Of course you do. Everyone does. That was one seriously terrifying, mind-blowingly WTF Miami moment. You couldn't escape it. In bars, at fancy dinners, in the middle of children's birthday parties and new moms' baby showers, all of us in this town wasted full days of our lives analyzing the details of the incident until our brains were numb with gore.

Now, it's Halloween, and you think you're going to blow everyone's minds by dressing up as the Miami Zombie or his victim? You are wrong. And you're probably also kind of a dick. Here's why:

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Ciara LaVelle is New Times' former arts and culture editor. She earned her BS in journalism at Boston University and moved to Florida in 2004. She joined New Times' staff in 2011.
Contact: Ciara LaVelle