Ten Tackiest Fashion Trends During South Beach Spring Break

James Franco put it best when he said, "Sprrriiiiinggggg breeeaaaakkkkkk."

Yes, a whole week to do nothing but get shwasted and be stupid. Spring break week (or month, depending upon how you experience it) is utter debauchery. Of course, no post-collegiate local would dare go near the sands of SoBe while insanity reigns, but we made a rare exception to check out some of the fashion that Miami's gift shops are putting out. If this trash represents the Magic City, it's no wonder people don't take us seriously. They really think life here is a music video.

Dear tourists: No one from Miami, or anywhere else on this planet, should buy a YOLO tee or wear said tee on a Duck Tour. This one goes out to you, bros. And hoes: Wearing next to nothing isn't bringing sexy back.

Here's what not to wear if you're in Miami, bitch, starting with that shirt.

See also: Is the Miami Heat the Most Fashionable Team in the NBA? Chris Bosh Talks Miami Style

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Carla Torres found her inner gourmand voice while writing for Miami New Times in 2012. She has also worked with Travel & Leisure and Ocean Drive. She balances passions for wine, sweets, yoga, and kayaking.