Kim Kardashian is one desperate woman. How desperate is Kim Kardashian? Kim Kardashian is so desperate that instead of just waiting out her stubborn, jilted, but still-legally-her-husband Kris Humphries, she offered him $10 million to quit stalling and just divorce her already.
Kris Humphries is one rich dude. How rich is Kris Humphries? Kris Humphries is so rich that instead of accepting a $10 million divorce settlement from his still-legally-wife Kim Kardashian, he's opted to take nothing and remain married to a woman who wants nothing to do with him out of spite or virtue or just because it keeps his name in the press.
In related news, all of these grown people are acting like children and why are we rewarding this behavior by caring?
RadarOnline reports that Kardashian offered Humphries the money after she filed for the divorce. An anonymous source told the site,
"She offered Kris a $10 million payoff, with the agreement that he would not continue to pursue an annulment to their marriage on the grounds of fraud."
However, Humphries has apparently been watching, like, a ton of Nashville lately, and hoping Kardashian will roll over as easily as Juliette Barnes. (Celebrities: They're Just Like
Us the Fake Celebrities on TV!) So instead of accepting an amount of money that qualifies as life-altering for almost anybody else in the world, he turned it down. To pursue an annulment. For zero dollars, apparently.
Kardashian, meanwhile, has maturely handled the difficult divorce situation by letting her sisters trash Humphries on national television and refusing to talk about it when it doesn't suit her. Oh, and also by refusing to admit that marrying the guy was maybe, partly, just a tiny bit motivated by the mind-blowingly huge amount of money she stood to gain.
Remember when you were a kid, and you got into a fight with another kid at school, and even though it was, like, totally the other kid's fault, some wise adult told you, "It doesn't matter who started it. You end it"? This is that, but with grown-ups and millions of people watching and also a whopping $10 million dollars.
Humphries: Take the money. Donate it to cancer research or a home for orphans or The National Foundation for the Recovery of Reality TV Star Exes.
Kim: Accept the annulment, then go buy a ruby-crusted diaper bag or whatever.
The end, problem solved, now let's all please go talk about literally anything else now.
Follow Ciara LaVelle on Twitter @ciaralavelle.