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Go Dutch! Critical Mass After-Party Returns to Miami

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As if Critical Mass weren't already epic enough. The monthly ride through Miami's streets gets extra jacked this week, thanks to an insane after-party dubbed Go Dutch! - a wild costume contest and Queen's Day festival that's bound to produce all kinds of royalty-related ridiculousness.

This Friday, bikers will don their best Dutch-inspired orange costumes, two-wheel their way around the city then gather en masse to play drinking games, take pictures and carouse the night away. Orange you glad you didn't make plans for this Friday?

Why the Dutch theme, you ask? 'Cuz those folks have sustainable living and bike culture down pat. Go Dutch! is an ode to those efforts, and a nod to the Dutch national holiday celebrating Her Royal Highness.

The annual event is a collaboration between city bike advocates and other partners, including Omni Parkwest Redevelopment Association, The Miami Bike Scene and Grolsch brew.

The party will include all kinds of bike-related diversions, from bicycle polo and tricycle races to a drinking game known as "spijkerpoepen," which literally translates to (wait for it) "pooping nails."

"A rope with a nail on the end is being tied around somebody's waist -- imagine a tail with a nail on the end," says event co-creator Marjanne Kalf. "And one has to lower the nail into a bottle, five-liter Grolsch bottles in this case." Only visuals can do it justice.

There are also incentives for getting all kinds of crazy with your costume. The sweetest getup will score a brand-new fixed gear Republic bike -- no small thing. And runners up will score reinforced laptop backpacks by Speck.

"As for Dutch inspired consumes, without going too deep into the history, think in orange (the Dutch national color) and that the Queen actually will hand over power to our future king," Kalf adds. "So anything Queen versus King will work."

Dutch wannabes will also party to tunes by DJ DZA, free bicycle valet by Green Mobility Network, skate and BMX freestyle sessions, and a table and repair stand by the Magic City Bicycle Collective.

The orange-hued fun kicks off with Critical Mass on Friday, April 26. Riders will gather at Government Center at 6:30 p.m., cruise the city from 7 to 8:30 p.m., then head to Grand Central Park for the after-party until 11 p.m. The event is free of charge, but bring cash for beer, donations, etc. All bar proceeds will benefit improvements to the park.

Also, the first 800 to arrive early at Government Center can score a free orange Grolsh t-shirt, which will entitle them to $4 Grolsch specials at the shindig. Visit grandcentralpark.com.

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