Cock Sh*t Bingo Is a Thing in Hialeah

La Cocina
Photo courtesy of La Cocina
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If you've ever wanted to bet on live chickens while downing a few drinks, Cock Sh*t Bingo at La Cocina Coctelería is the event you've been waiting for.

On Sunday, March 29, the Hialeah bar will debut Cock Sh*t Bingo, a lively gathering that will happen the last Sunday of every month. Yes, this unexpected event revolves around chickens and their defecation, but, hey, it involves cocktails — and live poultry.

Here’s how it works: During the event, guests buy a drink to score a raffle ticket with a number on it. At exactly 5 p.m., a chicken will be placed on top of a bingo board in an outdoor chicken coop. Whatever number the chicken poops on is the winner. Be prepared to make an evening of it because the entire process could take five minutes or an hour — depending upon the chicken’s relief needs — and players must be present to claim their prize.

Each cocktail purchased is good for one raffle ticket unless it’s a specialty Don Q drink, which comes with two tickets (or three if ordered before 4:15 p.m.).

If you're not drinking — or you want to increase your chances of winning — bring a can or bag of pet food for donation to Miami Animal Rescue and you'll receive a raffle ticket. Players must be present to win. While waiting for the main event, emceed by local drag queen Mosaic, guests can enjoy live bluegrass by Lonewolf and a whole gator cooked caja china-style.

“We always try to do events that are outside the box and have never been done in Miami. So when Kris, from Dogtown in the Grove, said he was raising chickens in his backyard, I thought we could do something fun with them,” La Cocina owner Matt Kuscher says of the thought process behind Cock Sh*t Bingo.

Cock Sh*t Bingo raffle tickets
Cock Sh*t Bingo raffle tickets
Courtesy of Matthew Kuscher

The event will include two rounds of bingo, and 99 tickets will be available for each. There will be one chicken per round: Bumpy Johnson in Round 1 and Big Bertha in Round 2. Winners of each game will receive a $50 gift card, a $50 bar tab, swag from sponsor Don Q, and, of course, bragging rights. Players who don’t win will still have a cool ticket-stub keepsake and a fun story to tell Monday at the office. 

Don’t worry — no chickens will be harmed (or even served) during this event. “I can’t imagine a better place to be on Sunday," Kuscher says, "so don’t be a chicken shit, and come watch some chickens shit!” 

Cock Sh*t Bingo at La Cocina Coctelería. Noon to 11 p.m. Sunday, March 29, and the last Sunday of every month at 1000 E. 16th St., Hialeah; 305-887-8863; lacocinahialeah.com. Bingo starts at 5 p.m. Admission is free.

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