Keep New Times Free
| Columns |

The Knife Cuts The Wrong Way

My cousin and her husband are in town, and they're staying in Hallandale. They wanted to meet for dinner last night, and preferred that we dine close to where they were at. I chose The Knife; I'd eaten in the Coconut Grove branch when it first opened and thought it was good. But The Knife in Hallandale just stunk.

No sooner had we sat down with our salad plates and placed our main course orders then French fries, rice, and mashed potatoes were placed on our table. The fries were of the frozen sort (which is to be expected), the rice was white and dry, the mashed potatoes were instant. Plus they were all cold by the time we were ready for main courses.

We moseyed up to the counter where one orders the meats. A stack of old, tired looking foods were piled up. Choice of steak cuts were picanha or...picanha. There were no flanks, skirts, or any other cut of beef. The picanha being sliced was rare, yet when my cousin asked if they had any medium or medium-well meat, the guy doing the slicing simply said "no -- just this." Her choice, therefore, was ribs, sausages, intestines, or chicken. She picked the last and it was dry. There was no provoleta offered either, which is usually a signature item at Argentine steak houses.

I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Miami and help keep the future of New Times free.

My beer: Lukewarm and tasting like water with beer coloring added. Desserts: Piss poor, except for a very fresh flan -- and they took so long to come to the table that the ice cream on all the plates were melted (they brought us more). Service was pretty much non-existent: water glasses were not refilled, plates were not cleared, the table was never wiped down.

Did I mention that it's an ugly restaurant as well?

Dinner cost $26.75 per person. That's not expensive, but a bad meal can never be cheap enough.

Follow Short Order on Facebook and Twitter @Short_Order.

Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.