The Knife Cuts The Wrong Way

My cousin and her husband are in town, and they're staying in Hallandale. They wanted to meet for dinner last night, and preferred that we dine close to where they were at. I chose The Knife; I'd eaten in the Coconut Grove branch when it first opened and thought it was good. But The Knife in Hallandale just stunk.

No sooner had we sat down with our salad plates and placed our main course orders then French fries, rice, and mashed potatoes were placed on our table. The fries were of the frozen sort (which is to be expected), the rice was white and dry, the mashed potatoes were instant. Plus they were all cold by the time we were ready for main courses.

We moseyed up to the counter where one orders the meats. A stack of old, tired looking foods were piled up. Choice of steak cuts were picanha or...picanha. There were no flanks, skirts, or any other cut of beef. The picanha being sliced was rare, yet when my cousin asked if they had any medium or medium-well meat, the guy doing the slicing simply said "no -- just this." Her choice, therefore, was ribs, sausages, intestines, or chicken. She picked the last and it was dry. There was no provoleta offered either, which is usually a signature item at Argentine steak houses.

My beer: Lukewarm and tasting like water with beer coloring added. Desserts: Piss poor, except for a very fresh flan -- and they took so long to come to the table that the ice cream on all the plates were melted (they brought us more). Service was pretty much non-existent: water glasses were not refilled, plates were not cleared, the table was never wiped down.

Did I mention that it's an ugly restaurant as well?

Dinner cost $26.75 per person. That's not expensive, but a bad meal can never be cheap enough.

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Miami New Times' restaurant reviewer for the past decade, and the world's indisputable master of disguise.
Contact: Lee Klein