Miami resident Sean"Diddy" Combs (that's apparently his serious business name) and Mark Wahlberg (who has long since stopped referring to himself as Marky Mark), have partnered to sell water.
But wait, folks! It's not just water -- it's a "revolutionary new performance water" set to "take over the beverage industry," according to a news release.
AQUAHydrate has actually been around for about a year.
Previously, the California-based company used athletes such as Yu Yumoto (XTerra World Champion), Erin Cafaro (Olympic rower), and Louis Vazquez (San Diego Chargers) to market its product to other athletes.
Now, it has turned to celebrities to peddle the product. Don't snicker -- Jennifer Aniston is successfully shilling for SmartWater.
Even though Combs and Wahlberg are actual partners in the company and will "oversee business strategy," the company has a real water mogul behind the
desk. AQUAHydrate's CEO is John Cochran, the former president of Fiji
So what is AQUAHydrate? It's water that's been filtered and then pumped up with a proprietary blend of 72 electrolytes and trace
minerals called ConcenTrace. Our favorite line:
"We source our electrolytes and minerals from the mineral-rich marine regions of Utah to ensure quality and taste."
never got an "A" in geography, but we always figured Utah was
landlocked and, hence, had no "marine regions."
Then we looked it up and
found that according to the U.S. Department of the Interior, there is, indeed, an "epicontinental
Ocean." It dates back to the Cretaceous period, which predates Sean Combs's original nickname, Puff Daddy.
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to Miami New Times's mission. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling Miami's stories with no paywalls.
Support Our Journalism
Though we were impressed by learning something new because of
AQUAHydrate, apparently Judd Apatow is not. Here's his snarky Tweet: