Food News

Rush Limbaugh Announces "Two If By Tea" Iced Tea

Radio Talker and blowhard Rush Limbaugh just announced his brand new line of Paul Revere-inspired iced teas, "Two If By Tea."

It's available in four varieties - regular, diet, raspberry, and diet raspberry. All of them feature all natural ingredients and a picture of Rush on a horse, dressed and ready to warn the British that we have arms and they can't take them away....or something like that.

Limbaugh announced the teas on his radio show, noting they are not sold in any stores because no one would buy them no sane company would carry them he wanted to be able to ensure everyone got a fair shake at buying the teas, which are priced at $23.76 per case (missed opportunity Rush, shouldn't they have been priced at $17.76?)

The tea, according to the website, "represents traditional American values of capitalism and excellence. Each bottle is designed to rise above the sameness and mediocrity that threatens our great nation." Wow! That's a big responsibility for a little bottle of iced tea, don't ya think, Rush?

Stranger still are the insights into Limbaugh and wife Kathryn's bedroom romps in the FAQ's section. In answer to the question, "Why is Rush Putting his name on a tea?, it states, "On Rush and Kathryn's wedding night, Kathryn said to him - "Rush, why don't you put your mug on a tea beverage dressed up in colonial costume including a wig with a bow and a tricorne hat, riding a frightened-horse, holding a bottle of tea with an American flag on it?" As she was pouring over historical poems and references in her galloping mind, Kathryn said, "We should call it Two If By Tea™!" Rush said, "OK!"

The only part of this whole tea debacle that's not a total joke? Two if by Tea will donate a minimum of $100,000 to MC-LEF (The Marine Corps Law Enforcement Foundation) beginning in June 2011.

Watch Rush make his historical tea announcement here:

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Laine Doss is the food and spirits editor for Miami New Times. She has been featured on Cooking Channel's Eat Street and Food Network's Great Food Truck Race. She won an Alternative Weekly award for her feature about what it's like to wait tables.
Contact: Laine Doss