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Halloween is coming up, which means one thing: a prime opportunity to steal candy from children, er, send your kids (or your friends' kids) trick or treating. Most likely, they'll return with the "treat" part of the equation, but occasionally things go wrong. Like if they return with one of these.
1. Camel Balls
No, this isn't a humiliating term aimed at skinny jean-wearing males. It's a bubblegum that oozes "extra sour" liquid upon mastication. Hey, at least this camel isn't peddling cigarettes.
2. Collagen Marshmallows
These collagen-infused edible sponges are adorned with a severe warning label, and promise to give you wrinkle-free skin. That, or kill you. We always knew Hello Kitty was evil.
3. Gummy Poo
Unchi-kun, or Mr. Poop, is a beloved Japanese anime character. He's the inspiration behind all sorts of branded merchandise, including this poo-shaped brown gummy candy. Quite adorable, but does it taste like shit?
4. Bacon Gum
Minty breath is overrated. Who wants to make out with a tube of toothpaste when they can devour some hot, sizzling bacon?
5. Spaghetti Worms with Sauce
We don't know what's more off-putting -- the concept of spicy gummy "spaghetti" with an accompanying tamarind-flavored "sauce," or the fact that the candy's spokesperson is a worm named Lucas. Worms, spaghetti, candy...yum.
Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.