Anthony Bourdain is better known for being a snarky wise ass who drinks like Hemingway on a bender than for being a great chef - which is perfectly fine by him and a major reason why we love him so much.
Tony (as his friends in rehab like to call him) recently went on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon to share some recipes perfect for when your drunk or stoned ass stumbles out of the bar at two in the morning on a school night.
Some tips from our witty friend? Mac & Cheese is made with the same polymers that are in the Space Shuttle's nose cone so it forms a protective seal in your stomach which prevents you from choking on your own vomit and Captain Crunch with Crunch Berries are interactive fun because you never know if it's the cereal dye or your own blood turning the milk pink.
Hey Tony: anytime you want to share some cereal and milk (after five entire bottles of Cuervo), let us know. Tony's 10-second recipes for drunks and stoners after the jump.
Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.