Map Out A Strip Club Spree

via Fantasia I wanna stuff a month's rent up in that g-string. When Riptide visits strip clubs it has one thing on its mind - efficiency. What strip club is the closest to my house? If for some reason this particular strip club is not up to my high standards,...

By Kyle Munzenrieder

September 11, 2008

[
        {
          "name": "Air - MediumRectangle - Inline Content - Mobile Display Size",
          "component": "19274298",
          "insertPoint": "2",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "2"
        },{
          "name": "Editor Picks",
          "component": "17482312",
          "insertPoint": "4",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "1"
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "18711090",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Air - MediumRectangle - Combo - Inline Content",
          "component": "17482310",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "18711090",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Air - Leaderboard Tower - Combo - Inline Content",
          "component": "17482313",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        }
      ]

via Fantasia

I wanna stuff a month's rent up in that g-string.

When Riptide visits strip clubs it has one thing on its mind - efficiency.

What strip club is the closest to my house? If for some reason this particular strip club is not up to my high standards, are there others in the area where I could take my business? If my favorite stripper (her name is Trixie St. Muffinboobs, btw) changes clubs, how many miles is it from my house? Is there a way find out this information so I know approximately how much I'll spend on gas, and then how many crumpled dollar bills I have left over?

Yes there is! StipClubbin.com has put together an interactive Google map of the best strip clubs in the area (NSFW). They also ranked them from best to worst, but since they left off many of the establishments that employ our favorite day strippers we trust their sense of direction more than their taste.

--Kyle Munzenrieder

Become A Member

BEFORE YOU GO...
Can you help us continue to share our stories? Since the beginning, Miami New Times has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami — and we'd like to keep it that way. Our members allow us to continue offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food, and culture with no paywalls.