Which Crazy Florida Congressman Said It: Alan Grayson or Allen West?

When Alan Grayson, a hot liberal mess of a congressman, was defeated last fall, we thought it would be a long time before Florida saw a politician quite as loud and un-apologetically boisterous. Of course, that was the same night Floridians in a different district elected Allen West. Alan and Allen might be on completely different ends of the political spectrum, but they share a knack for delivering crazy quotes.

We've assembled 25 of the most outrageous things that have come out of their mouths. Can you guess who said it?

  1. "In certain parts of the world, 100 years ago, when times were tough -- a drought, a famine -- they ate each other. Literally."
  2. "Once upon a time, back in the old-school way of the women of the church, when you're a little tyke, you really fear. It was old mothers who would get together and say, 'Boy, you better act right or else I'm going to get that switch and I'm going to tell your mom and she's going to get that belt.'"
  3. "STFU."
  4. "Shut the heck up."
  5. "Why are they complaining when we're trying to put some kind of break on this vomiting of taxpayer money?"
  6. "You have proven repeatedly that you are not a lady, therefore, shall not be afforded due respect from me!"
  7. "Here I am the only member of Congress who actually worked as an economist, and this lobbyist, this K Street whore, is trying to teach me about economics."
  8. "They call me nuts, they call me stupid, they call me ugly. They might be right about ugly, but that's not what's important."
  9. "What you continue to see is a Third-World dictator-like arrogance. That's what I saw in that speech last week."
  10. "I have trouble listening to what he says sometimes because of the blood that drips from his teeth while he's talking."
  11. "The snippy little [political ideology] Chihuahuas came out to bark at my ankles."
  12. "I am deeply disturbed at this incident, which threatened a member of our campaign staff. I thoroughly condemn this act, which does nothing but evidence the sick and deranged nature of the perpetrator."
  13. "The caller told our receptionist -- a young intern -- that 'ten people are going to kill the congressman within 24 hours.' We gave the information to the Capitol Police; they are investigating."
  14. "You are the most vile, unprofessional, and despicable member of the U.S. House of Representatives."
  15. "We're dealing with people on the other side who are utterly unscrupulous. These are foot-dragging, knuckle-dragging Neanderthals who know nothing but 'no.'"
  16. "Don't try to blow sunshine up my butt."
  17. "If it is a fight for America you seek, you came to the right place... and shall find yourselves fleeing in utter desperation, same as the pathetic [political idealogy] congressman against whom I run. I invite all of you into the arena where this intellectual warrior awaits you on the field of combat for principles of governance and ideals."
  18. "I would take these gentlemen over and let them get shot at a few times and maybe they'd have a different opinion."
  19. "[An apology] is not happening... Don't poke me in the chest."
  20. "I will not apologize for a simple reason: America doesn't care about your feelings."

  21. "You can call me partisan if you want. But I see one party's leadership trying hard to solve this nation's problems. And the other party's leadership showing its true colors. They are callous sellouts. Always have been, always will be."
  22. "I must confess, when I see anyone with a bumper sticker [for a presidential candidate from the other party], I recognize them as a threat to the gene pool."
  23. "I don't drink my own tub water."
  24. "Die quickly."
  25. "This is it. I'm going to count to five again, and if you don't give me what I want, I'm going to kill you."

Click to the next page for the answers.

  1. Grayson [source]
  2. West [source]
  3. Grayson [source]
  4. West [source]
  5. Grayson [source]
  6. West [source]
  7. Grayson [source]
  8. Grayson [source]
  9. West [source]
  10. Grayson [source]
  11. West [source]
  12. West [source]
  13. Grayson [source]
  14. West [source]
  15. Grayson [source]
  16. West [source]
  17. West [source]
  18. West [source]
  19. West [source]
  20. Grayson [source]
  21. Grayson [source]
  22. West [source]
  23. West [source]
  24. Grayson [source]
  25. West [source]

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