You Can Get Drunk With Roger Stone at an Irish Pub in Coral Gables Monday

You Can Get Drunk With Roger Stone at an Irish Pub in Coral Gables MondayEXPAND
Photo by George Martinez
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Roger Stone, the political consigliere, accused defamer, and alleged Russia go-between for Donald Trump, is difficult to predict. After spending decades smearing political candidates as an admitted backroom political operative, Stone had seemingly hit a lull in his career over the past decade. Remember when he was handling the campaign of a stoner comedian running for Miami Beach mayor?

But right when America had forgotten him, he rose from the depths of Fort Lauderdale and helped coach Trump into winning the presidency. Then Stone kinda, sorta admitted he had back-channel communications with alleged Russian hacker Guccifer 2.0 and now is the target of a possible federal investigation and pretty much can't be seen anywhere near the South Lawn.

So as a reward for helping a man with the IQ of a turducken swindle Americans into voting for him, Stone now gets to spend his time hanging out at extremely weird parties full of racist college kids in Miami and getting drunk at Irish pubs in Coral Gables in order to sell his book about the 2016 election.

This Monday, Stone will speak in front of the Women's Republican Club of Miami. In keeping with Miami's bent toward the surreal, a man who's at the heart of a probe that could bring down a sitting U.S. president will hold court from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. at John Martin's Irish Pub & Restaurant on Miracle Mile in the Gables. You can buy him a beer and ask if he ever saw Richard Nixon nude. Or ask if he ferried messages to Russian hackers for the president of the United States. Anything is possible.

(Incidentally, an 1800s-inspired Irish pub is pretty much the only place where Stone's three-piece pinstripe suits and fancy hats don't make him look like a street magician.)

Stone says he'll hit everyone's favorite topics: former FBI director James Comey's firing, whether Trump has Alzheimer's, and "FAKE NEWS." He'll even peddle the conspiracy theory that former Democratic National Committee staffer Seth Rich was murdered by the Deep State, a claim that was proven demonstrably false earlier this week when the "private investigator" making claims about Rich's ties to WikiLeaks admitted he had lied to journalists and made up a bunch of garbage. (Stone is a regular on InfoWars for a reason.)

The meeting is the second in a series of extremely weird Miami appearances for Stone: Two weekends ago, he made a cameo at former Breitbart troll Milo Yiannopoulos' #CincoDeMilo party, where a ton of misogynist college kids got to hang out with some scantily clad models and stare at Stone's tattoo of Richard Nixon's face. The dude simply does not lie low.

If you head to the Gables this Monday you could, you know, film the event and possibly preserve a piece of incriminating evidence that brings down the president and tears a nation apart. But, uh, that's just a suggestion.

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