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Meet the Florida Man Who Wants To "Become" a Disposable Maxi-Pad

When Riptide first saw headlines about "Pad Gardner," our initial thought process went like this: "Please don't be from Florida, please don't be from Florida ... CRAP!" Then, we thought, "Please be a joke, please be a joke ... CRAP!"

Yes, Pad Gardner is from Panama City, Florida, and no, his dream to "become" a Maxi-Pad does not appear to be a made up Internet thing. Tweet him @TheFemininePad ladies! (Seriously, though, you can.)

The Daily Dot has done some serious web journalism to get to the bottom of perhaps the strangest dream in all of the Sunshine State, which is really saying something.

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Here's what they found about Gardner. He listed four goals for himself in 2013:

  1. To change my legal name to "Pad"
  2. To start preparing for life as a feminine pad.
  3. To set a World Record for having the largest Pad collection.
  4. Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.

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