Over the years, several Americans have sought refuge in Fidel Castro's Cuba for legal and political reasons, but until now, no one has tried to do so because they're afraid of Paris Hilton.
In case you missed Art Basel week's stupidest celebrity gossip, let's get you caught up. Actress Lindsay Lohan was staying at a Star Island mansion possibly rented for the week by New York writer Ray LeMoine. During the week, Paris Hilton's 24-year-old brother, Barron, also popped up at the party pad. LeMoine allegedly wound up punching him in the face. The younger Hilton immediately took to the gossip press to insist Lohan had orchestrated the attack. It's all a big made-for-TMZ mess, yet somehow Fidel Castro is now involved.
The New York Daily News' Confidenti@l gossip column got in touch with LeMoine. He claimed he's in Key West and is trying to flee to Cuba for refuge.
"I'm scared of the Hiltons and Paris' Cash Money crew, so I am seeking refuge in Cuba," he said. "Castro hates the Hiltons and took their Havana hotel in 1959 as a base after conquering Cuba, so they are stoked I'm coming down to hate capitalism. Viva la Lohan!"
Did LeMoine party so hard during Basel week that that statement actually makes sense in his mind? Or is he just trying to get as much ridiculous attention out of this as possible?
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
The man does know his history at least. The Hiltons' grandfather built the Havana Hilton in the '50s in collaboration with then-President Fulgencio Batista. Castro did indeed turn it into his base of operations in '59 and later renamed it the Hotel Havana Libre.
It's unclear if LeMoine was renting the home himself or where he got the money to do so. He has previously worked as a freelance writer and local news blogger for the New York Times before getting into the nightlife industry. His NYC bar, Heathers, was recently shuttered.
The Daily News goes on to claim that Lohan had nothing to do with the attack and wasn't even at the home when it happened. Their sources say LeMoine returned from a party and wasn't pleased to find Hilton and other youngsters drinking the night away at his home. That's when he hit Hilton with an unknown object, but some reports suggest Hilton took a swing first. The gossips report that Hilton then opened a bottle of Jameson and continued drinking at the mansion for three more hours before calling police. Hilton, meanwhile, is reportedly planning to sue both LeMoine and Lohan.