Getting to Miami can be a pain, so if you’ve got
But of course, that’s all just building up to midnight, when you can recklessly spend your hard-earned money like a lonely dad browsing Craigslist. These are your most expensive New Year's Eve options.
4. Steve Aoki. 9 p.m. Thursday, December 31, at LIV, 4441 Collins Ave., Miami Beach. Tickets cost $300 to $20,000 via flavorus.com.
What, you don’t like having cake chucked at your face? Oh, you have something
3. Jamie Jones. 10 p.m. Thursday, December 31, at Story Nightclub, 136 Collins Ave., Miami Beach. Tickets cost $75 to $25,000 via flavorus.com.
Save the $75 you’d spend on Story's general admission for your dinner at Apeiro Kitchen & Bar. Then bring all the New York friends you met on that BLADEone flight to Jamie Jones' New Year’s Eve Party. Along with a $25,000 bill, the Dancefloor Table gets you 15 VIP tickets, two bottles of vodka, and three bottles of Champagne – which honestly doesn’t seem sufficient, but who are we to judge? Maybe one of those bottles of Champagne is infused with Viagra and will keep you erect until 2017? Oh, and there are “party favors” included — though probably not the kind Story regulars are used to.
2. The Weeknd & Kygo Fontainebleau Poolside. 9 p.m. Thursday, December 31, at Fontainebleau Miami Beach, 4441 Collins Ave., Miami Beach. Tickets cost $275 to $50,000 via flavorus.com.
Everyone’s favorite lyrical Basquiat performs poolside at Fontainebleau along with the Norwegian EDM sensation Kygo. Sadly, the $50,000 offer is sold
1. The Billionaires Club. 9 p.m. Thursday, December 31, at Set Nightclub, 320 Lincoln Rd., Miami Beach. Tickets cost $50 to $100,000 via wantickets.com.
Now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for – the moment you can’t afford and shouldn't afford and wouldn’t spend money on if you cared at all about the future of your grandchildren, goddammit! Presented by Icon and sponsored by Don Perignon, the Billionaires Club NYE party is set to make Set nightclub smell like Richard Branson's goatee. If you want to ball hard and go against the advice of any sane accountant, book the Jet “Set” Miami package for $100,000. Along with a DJ booth table, you’ll get 100 bottles of Dom Perignon, five bottles of Don Julio, and five bottles of Belvedere to spray over the dance floor when the ball drops and the bass drops and your inhibitions drop below next year’s standards. Your 2016 resolution: find out what the fuck to do with these 88 leftover bottles of Don Perignon.