Best Ladies' Night 2016 | Blackbird Ordinary | Best Restaurants, Bars, Clubs, Music and Stores in Miami | Miami New Times
Courtesy of Blackbird Ordinary

If it's Tuesday and you're in Brickell, you should be at Blackbird. If it's Tuesday and you're in Brickell and you have two X chromosomes, you absolutely need to be at Blackbird. One of the funkiest, most authentic spots in Miami's financial district, Blackbird is a solid choice any night of the week. But Tuesday, with free cover for everyone (yes, even the guys), the deals are too good for a woman to pass up. From 10 p.m. to 1:30 a.m., ladies drink free. Any well drink her heart desires, as well as the bar's signature cocktail, the Blackbird, costs the very reasonable price of zero dollars. With a DJ spinning inside and fresh air available out back, Blackbird knows how to take care of the fairer sex. Drink up, ladies. Lord knows you deserve it.

Let's face it: Wynwood's acclaimed Art Walk ain't for everyone. For every art fiend who feeds off the giant crowds and jam-packed galleries there's a claustrophobe who prefers fewer selfie sticks with his modern art. There's hope for the shy art patrons of the Magic City. It's called Secret Garden. The semisecret monthly gathering takes place at various venues throughout Wynwood but always brings that right mix of the bizarre and the captivating for which Art Walk was once known before becoming Miami's biggest monthly party. Admission is usually free if you RSVP early enough, but at most will cost you $10 to get in the door. The event and locale vary from month to month. Recently, Secret Garden hosted techno wizard's Audiofly for its carnival-inspired fest, Flying Circus, where strongmen and fire-breathers mingled to thumping tracks. Other months have brought microfestival Desert Hearts. One never quite knows what to expect when walking into Secret Garden. But whatever greets you inside, it's better than staring at some boring painting you can't afford.

Photo courtesy of the Rhythm Foundation

Last year, local purveyor of swinging international music Rhythm Foundation took over management of this beachside gem of an outdoor amphitheater. Since then, the North Beach Bandshell has lured a wide swath of musicians from around the globe, from the hipster-chic Brazilian Girls to the Mexican hip-hop jazz of Troker to the buzz-worthy French-Cuban sisters of Ibeyi. But the Bandshell has also made sure to color the bills with the best music the 305 has to offer. For the recent TransAtlantic Festival, the Haitian Afro-indie-rock of Kazoots and the boogie-funk of Psychic Mirrors graced the stage. Last autumn, the venue hosted the Death to the Sun Festival, where 27 local acts were given 15-minute sets to show off their stuff, as well as Mooncake Jam, where Afrobeta, Telekinetic Walrus, and Jesse Jackson jammed partiers into the night. Best of all, the space is a gem. Crowds sway under strands of lights and palm trees just a few steps from the beach. Sea breezes inspire artists and tempt audience members to wander off and listen to the roar of waves between sets. Plus, it doesn't hurt your wallet that there's free street parking after 6 p.m.

Photo by Jason Koerner

A couple of years ago, the Fillmore's very existence was in doubt due to the city's plans to overhaul the nearby Miami Beach Convention Center. Some politicians pushed for a massive new hotel to take its place. Though the venue drips with history thanks to being the home of The Jackie Gleason Show from 1964 to 1970, it wasn't eligible for historic protection because most of the building was gutted by the time Live Nation took it over in 2007. These days, the Fillmore is safe from the wrecking ball (for now, because this is prime Miami Beach real estate after all). If the city ever thinks about touching the Fillmore, let's hope it will remember that in this past year alone, Live Nation brought acts such as New Order, Iggy Pop, Purity Ring, My Morning Jacket, and Metric to grace its expansive stage. The venue is also one of the most ideal live music settings in the city, with superb acoustics and a great sight line, even from the seating areas near the back. And because Miami loses a music venue seemingly every year — Grand Central was the casualty in 2015 — we can't afford to lose another.

Readers' choice: The Fillmore Miami Beach

Courtesy of Bardot

Big things come in small packages, and stellar performances come without a stage. Such must be the philosophy behind Bardot. For nearly seven years, this hipster hideaway has been home to some of the most intimate and memorable performances across genres and styles, from rappers like Danny Brown and Jonwayne to DJs like James Murphy and Gaslamp Killer and even electronic bands like Yelle and Holy Ghost. Named for '60s sex kitten Brigitte Bardot, the venue features an interior decorated with trippy projections and NSFW images of girls getting down and dirty. Smoking is allowed inside, and you'll likely breathe in a few varieties of smoke, but it all adds to the naughty nightlife atmosphere. A pool table sits in the back, a few couches for VIP tables and general lounging are scattered about, and the bookings are consistently next-level. That's why Consequence of Sound recently named Bardot the 83rd-best music venue in the nation. Not bad for a 300-capacity hole in the wall in midtown.

Who's the baddest dude to ever touch golden Technics? Who was so unstoppable on the ones-and-twos that the DMC World Championship had to tell him it was no longer fair that he should get to compete? Who is the DJ so brash, so bold, and so ballsy that he spits out a battle routine calling superstars out by name, turning tricks with nothing touching the record but his back? Craze isn't just the best DJ in Miami; Craze is one of the best turntablists in the world. We're lucky to have a living legend in our town, and he puts this city on his shoulders, constantly repping at shows and putting on talented sounds via his homegrown label Slow Roast Records. If you haven't seen his "New Slaves Routine," you might not be a DJ fan, and if you haven't listened to his 2¢ mixes — his recent collaborative project with fellow fckboi killer Four Color Zack — well, you're just kind of a whack jokester. Every time you see a Craze set, you see something that blows your mind. His style will never get old, because it's the truth.

Readers' choice: DJ Irie

Judging by the album sales and eye-popping crowds at Ultra every year, we live in the golden age of the DJ. But it's also true that this is not the golden age of DJing. Every blooper with a USB port and a black jacket can book a gig at a sports bar, but the real legends — the men and women who curate an hour or more of solid tunes designed to turn heads and shake behinds — come around only once in a while. Mr. Brown is one such legend. His sets leave listeners smilingly befuddled. You won't recognize every song, but you might hear your underrated favorite, and you're sure to discover a handful of new number ones. Whether he's playing funk or French electro, sexy soul or hip-hop street beats, Mr. Brown has it all, and what makes it even more fantastic is the fact that he's playing off vinyl. He has never even touched a digital mixer, and that means all of this great music is coming from his personal collection. He's been DJing on vinyl for 16 years, and by his own count, he has roughly 60,000 LPs in his home and more than 100,000 others he plans to sell one day when he opens his own record store. That dedication to music sharing and discovery is what the spirit of DJing is really about, and for that, Miami thanks Mr. Brown.

Paolo Santosuosso

If there's a Beyoncé equivalent in the indie world, it's probably Radiohead. Like Bey, the band tends to drop albums with little to no warning, letting fans work themselves up until they're positively foaming at the mouth. So when the band abruptly dropped its first album in five years, A Moon Shaped Pool, this past May, Miami fans went B-A-N-A-N-A-S trying to find the vinyl version. Online, they could order the double-LP directly from Radiohead's website. But a limited-edition, opaque white vinyl version was available only at indie record stores. Luckily, Sweat Records had listeners' backs. That's exactly the kind of niche, vinyl-head detail that owner Lolo Reskin has brought to the Little Haiti shop since founding it in 2005. And yes — of course — she also stocked five copies of an exclusive seven-inch release for Radiohead's first single off the album, "Burn the Witch." (Those sold out in less than ten minutes.) The Radiohead frenzy is just the latest example of Sweat's devotion to wax, though. The shop is packed with thousands of new and vintage records and for the past six years has played host to Sweatstock on Record Store Day, bringing in national and local bands to celebrate their favorite medium. Even if you miss out on Radiohead's next superlimited release, Sweat has plenty more to offer, such as gently used vinyl, band merch, turntables, and even a coffee bar that can keep you fueled as you search for more records to add to your collection.

We checked famed astrologer Susan Miller's latest horoscopes to see if the stars said Virgos would get any major accolades in the middle of June. Apparently not (though it is a great time for Virgos to sign a contract). Then again, you shouldn't put that much stock in astrology anyway. Virgo, the one-woman project of Elizabeth Ann Clark, at times reaches beyond the stars all on her own. Armed with a wispy voice and a bevy of electronic implements, the waif-like Clark has been entrancing Miami audiences at clubs and underground parties for less than two years but has already made her mark. She'll play for the third year in a row at the III Points Festival later this year. Miller's horoscopes don't mention what time of the month is best for checking out new music, so there's no excuse not to get into Virgo as soon as possible.

Photo by Karli Evans

In 2005, a club called Nocturnal opened in the space at 50 NE 11th St. At the time, the owners were looking to jump into the 24-hour party business that had made Space so successful a couple of doors down. Still, even after an $11 million build-out, Nocturnal never really found its footing and struggled as the king of 11th Street continued to lure patrons looking to party until sunrise. That changed in 2015 when the venue was rechristened Heart (following a brief incarnation as Koi). Instead of taking on the behemoth that is Space, Heart has positioned itself as a complement of sorts. If Saturdays belong to Space, then Fridays belong to Heart. Instead of concentrating on traditional house, Heart tends to focus on minimal, techno, or other off-kilter dance genres. Instead of competing, Heart is adding to 11th Street's partying environs. DJs such as Miss Kittin, John Digweed, Jesse Rose, Nicole Moudaber, and others have already gotten Heart beating. Under its semitransparent tenting on the rooftop, partygoers bathe in the Saturday-morning sunrise before calling it quits. And a wide-open dance floor (a rarity these days in Miami) welcomes everyone to try out their best moves — whether it's just bobbing your head or breaking out those truly spastic body movements.

Readers' choice: Basement Miami

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