If you're offended by the sight of topless women sunning themselves on South Beach, you're going to want to stay off the island this weekend.
If, on the other hand, you're like the rest of us -- those for whom "boobs in your face" is at worst a mild distraction and at best a religious experience -- get your (fully clothed) ass to Lincoln Road on Sunday, and prepare for a show.
August 26 is National Go Topless Day, and the women of South Florida will once again be celebrating in bare-breasted style.
Miamians who oppose government-imposed boob coverings for women -- what is this, Soviet Russia? -- have staged similar protests in the past, including one in August 2010, with little to no reaction from lawmakers. So why continue the fight? GoTopless.org explains:
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The Florida law does not allow women to be topless in public but the police is very lenient about that in Miami Beach. So why would GoTopless want to make waves there? Because our wish is not only for our breasts to be "tolerated" while laying on the sand, we want to have the same right as men. Their chest is "tolerated" in every public place, why not ours? We dream of being able to walk down Lincoln Rd with our shirt open and enjoy the breeze on our torso the way some men do on a hot summer afternoon. We want women's bodies to be as free as men's are, that is our constitutional right!
Preach on, ladies. Equal rights is equal rights, after all. You may not have the support of an underwire, but you surely have ours.
The "happy, colorful, topless parade" starts at the intersection of Lincoln Road and Washington Ave. at 4 p.m. Sunday, heading west towards Alton Road.