The following tour guide is not for those people.
The inevitable fact that Miami will turn into a giant tailgate party for an entire week-plus doesn’t mean tourists and locals alike won't lose the ability to avail themselves of all the magic the Magic City offers. So leave the conspicuous consuming and celebrity ballyhoo to the rubes; there's all sorts of real stuff to do in Miami. The following are some of our suggestions.
For even more things to do, be sure to check out New Times' Super Bowl weekend 2020 party guide.
Saturday, January 25420 Yoga at Club Space. Visitors strolling along NE 11th Street past Club Space are unlikely to say to themselves: Hmmmm, I wonder if this nightclub offers free yoga classes. But it does, and it's great! The weekly classes, held on the terrace Saturday afternoons at 4:20 (see what they did there?), are led by certified yoga instructor Tiffany Levy. She and her fellow instructors set the mood burning sage, essential oils, and yoga unity while a DJ contributes tranquil, languorous sounds conducive to your downward dogs and sun salutations. BYO yoga mat! 4:20 p.m. Saturday at 40 NE 11th St., Miami; 786-357-6456; clubspace.com. Admission is free.
gramps.com. Admission is free.
Sunday, January 26Live music at Lagniappe. At first glance, the French-influenced jazz bar might seem a tad chaotic: Inside, there's a small stage for jazz performers; the outdoor setting is a massive yard with seemingly haphazardly arranged tables and chairs. But once you get into the rhythm (literally and figuratively), you'll see Lagniappe for what it is: a true Miami haven. Enjoy delicious meats, cheeses, and wines, and bond with your friends and fellow patrons under a clear evening sky. Live music is on tap every night of the week; on Super Bowl Sunday evening, local drummer and composer Rodolfo Zuniga will play a free show inside. 6 p.m. to 2 a.m. Sunday at 3425 NE Second Ave., Miami; 305-576-0108; lagniappehouse.com. Admission is free.
Roomful of Teeth at Faena Theater. Roomful of Teeth is a group of singers and composers who take contemporary music on an incomparable vocal journey — from yodeling to Broadway belting to throat singing to Korean P’ansori, Sardinian cantu a tenore, and (wait for it) death metal. In the past, the eight-person ensemble has collaborated with (among others) the Seattle Symphony, Kanye West, and tUnE-yArDs; this show is a collaborative effort with Miami-based painter Diego Gutierrez. Admission costs $15, but If you're of a mind to make the most of it, you can up the ante to $35 and enjoy a lovely brunch beforehand. Brunch at 10:30 a.m., performance at 12:30 p.m. Sunday at 3201 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-534-8800; faenatheater.com. Tickets cost $15 to $35 via eventbrite.com.
Monday, January 27Trivia Monday at Bar Nancy. The laid-back and chill atmosphere of Bar Nancy in Little Havana is sure to help jog your memory at this weekly Monday-night trivia event hosted by Trivia Miami. The winning team takes home $50 (second place scores $25), and the evening features drink specials as well as other games, such as Connect4, Jumbo Jenga, and backgammon. DJ Asqueroso will spin New Wave sounds to elevate your trivial pursuit. 9 p.m. Monday at 2007 SW Eighth St., Miami; 305-397-8971; nancy305.com. Admission is free.
playcasinomiami.com. Admission is free.
Tuesday, January 28Noche de Domino at Ball & Chain. The site now occupied by the Little Havana lounge Ball & Chain is a cultural landmark dating back to 1935. Under various names and ownerships, it operated as a saloon and a nightclub, presenting acts such as Chet Baker, Count Basie, and Billie Holiday. In 1967, the venue gave way to a furniture store, Futurama, which endured for 30 years — until a group of investors scooped up the space and returned it to its former booze-slinging, live-music glory. Nowadays, on Tuesdays from 4 to 6 p.m., Ball & Chain offers free games of dominoes, conveniently overlapping with the bar's 4-to-7 happy hour. The place attracts tourists and locals alike in search of a good time. 4 to 6 p.m. Tuesday at 1513 SW Eighth St., Miami; 305-643-7820; ballandchainmiami.com. Admission is free.
La Shangrila Karaoke. Way out west, near the main campus of Florida International University and next door to a Sedano's grocery store, stands La Shangrila Karaoke. Stepping inside is a bit of a shock: You find yourself in a small reception area, with howls of drunken customers coming at you from the big private karaoke rooms on all sides. But rest assured, the place is modeled after real-deal Asian KTV karaoke boxes, with clean, spacious rooms, each equipped with a large flat-screen monitor and a couple of microphones. The menu is cheap and filling — which is to say you can soak up all the liquid courage you'll require to belt out power ballads in front of your friends. 5 p.m. to 2 a.m. Tuesday at 10720 W. Flagler St.; 305-640-5217; lashangrila.com.
Wednesday, January 29Live Sessions featuring House Savage at the Citadel. An epic food hall is enough of a draw for us, but we're what your mother might call "good eaters." More discerning fun-seekers will note the Citadel hosts a tremendous amount of live talent from both Miami and abroad. On this hump day beginning at 7 p.m., House Savage — a local funk-driven combo — will make its live debut. Pair the music with your choice of dishes from 11 local restaurants, along with a handcrafted cocktail or two (or three). 7 p.m. Wednesday at 8300 NE Second Ave., Miami; 305-908-3849; thecitadelmiami.com. Admission is free; register via eventbrite.com.
miamisalt.com. Admission is free.
Thursday, January 30No Fraud at Churchill's Pub. You have not truly experienced Miami until you've caught a show at Churchill's, a Little Haiti mainstay that has played host to locals, megastars, the avant-garde, and the just plain weird since the dive bar opened in 1979. Thursday night before the Super Bowl, Florida's own hardcore punk band No Fraud will take the stage to get your head banging and your feet stomping on the pub's ever-so-worn floorboards. 9 p.m. Thursday at 5501 NE Second Ave., Miami; 305-757-1807; churchillspub.com. Tickets cost $10 to $12 via eventbrite.com.
gramps.com. Admission is free.
Friday, January 31All the Eternal Love I Have for the Pumpkins at the Institute of Contemporary Art. The Friday before the Super Bowl is the last day to see the ICA's presentation of Yayoi Kusama’s mesmerizing installation All the Eternal Love I Have for the Pumpkins in Miami. Pay $15 in advance to reserve a one-minute visit to the Japanese artist's "Infinity Mirror Room," which is located at a special site in the Design District about a block east of the ICA proper. The piece — a room filled with Kusama's iconic acrylic yellow pumpkins that are adorned with black polka dots and illuminated from within by LEDs — makes for an immersive head trip. To learn more about Kusama and her gourd work, read Douglas Markowitz's recent feature story; to get a load of how the installation is tangled in an alleged art swindle of multimillion-dollar proportions, read Francisco Alvarado's page-turning "Where in the World Is Inigo Philbrick?" 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Friday at 112 NE 41st St., Suite 106, Miami; 305-901-5272; icamiami.org. Tickets cost $15 via icamiami.org. (To view the pumpkins gratis, visit Thursday, January 30, and be prepared to wait in line.)
Russian & Turkish Baths. Want to relax like an insider? How about a schvitz in a traditional Russian banya? The Russian & Turkish Baths, located in the Castle Beach Club on Collins Avenue north of 54th Street in Miami Beach, offers your basic banya experience, wherein you sweat out your toxins in a stone-walled room equipped with a 15-ton hot rock. Other amenities include a "polar bear" sauna, swimming pools, high-pressure showers, a "rain room," a gym, and a Finnish dry sauna. The $52 price of admission entitles you to all of those and more; upgrades such as massages, Dead Sea mud exfoliation, and the famed platza (you haven't lived till you've been beaten about the back and shoulders with a bundle of oak leaves) cost extra. Noon to midnight Friday at 5445 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305- 867-8315; russianandturkishbaths.com. Admission costs $52.
Saturday, February 1Boss Battle: Seizure Machine Video-Release Party at Las Rosas. Seizure Machine is definitely not for the family. Marlon Sinvergüenza’s electro duo likes to take comedic rap and fuse it with glitched-up noises (courtesy of the Machine's other half, Fxsnowy, who mans the synthesizers), creating a cataclysmic sound that borders on hilarious insanity. Guest performers at Saturday's celebration include fellow local Ashiyushi, Starve Marve, Mother Juno, and a DJ set by Lamebot. 9 p.m. Saturday at 2898 NW Seventh Ave., Miami; 786-780-2700; lasrosasbar.com. Admission is free; register via eventbrite.com.
The de la Cruz Collection. In the 1980s, Havana natives Carlos and Rosa de la Cruz began collecting art for their home in Miami. They never stopped. Having accumulated enough art to fill a museum, they built one in 2009. The 30,000-square-foot Design District space is a sight to behold for art buffs and novices alike. The current exhibition, "From Day to Day," presents a plethora of contemporary works by artists such as Ana Mendieta, Gabriel Orozco, Salvador Dalí, Sterling Ruby, Wifredo Lam, Paulina Olowska, and Christopher Wool that will stun you as soon as you enter. 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Saturday at 23 NE 41st St., Miami; 305-576-6112; delacruzcollection.org. Admission is free.
Sunday, February 2Tour and tasting at Schnebly Redland's Winery & Brewery. Schnebly has been making wine in Homestead for decades. A few years ago, the facility added an adjacent brewery — double your pleasure! On weekends from 1 to 4 p.m., the winery offers tours for $8 per person; spring for another $12.95 and add a tasting. And if you work up an appetite from all the touring and sipping, step over to the Redlander, a farm-to-table restaurant on the premises. 1 to 4 p.m. Sunday at 30205 SW 217th Ave., Homestead; 305-242-1224; schneblywinery.com. Tours cost $8 per person; tastings cost $12.95 per person.
fairchildgarden.org. Admission costs $25 for adults, $18 for seniors, and $12 for students; discounts are available with a Fairchild membership.