Conventional wisdom says summer is the worst time to be in Miami. But when has conventional thinking ever applied to this town? If you know where to go and what to do, you can celebrate a summer season to rival any high-season arts convention, music conference, or food fest. We went through our picks from
Hit up Happy Hour at El Patio
It took this Wynwood bar all of about five seconds to become one of the neighborhood's most popular spots. The night of El Patio's official grand opening, a line stretched down the block. If you were lucky enough to get inside, you instantly understood why. El Patio is exactly what you pray your backyard looks like one day. Furnished with mismatched vintage pieces of furniture and knickknacks shipped from Colombia — the homeland of co-owner Nicolas Hoyos — El Patio is a living example of why Miami's Latin-fusion culture makes this city great. With tropical music curated by local favorite Mr. Pauer, there's no shortage of hip-shaking going down during any given happy hour, which features some pretty insane deals, such as $4 cocktails and a bucket of four beers for only $4. We'll give that a moment to sink in. It's hard to think of a place more fitting to toast to the Miami sunset than El Patio. And if you make it till the night, be prepared to dance.
Browse the wares at the Miami Flea
The colors are the most alluring part of any flea market. Vibrant, flashy hues in every direction attract the eye and leave patrons squinting into jam-packed booths. Are those vintage unicycles for sale? Hand-painted surfboards?
Indulge your sweet tooth at HipPOP's
Imagine a vanilla-bean popsicle dunked in milk chocolate and topped with pretzels, hazelnuts, and chocolate sprinkles. HipPOP's, a South Florida-born gourmet icy dessert truck, brings sweet and savory handcrafted popsicles using a bevy of innovative flavors, dips, and toppings. Customize yours by choosing from gelato, sorbet, or yogurt varieties in flavors such as hazelnut, pistachio, pineapple, strawberry, Mexican chocolate chip, and gianduia, a mix of chocolate and hazelnut. Then dip your stick into milk, dark, or white chocolate and choose a topping, including shredded coconut, crushed pistachios, or rainbow sprinkles. Voilà! You've created a 100 percent all-natural and gluten-free artisanal treat for $5. The truck sells POPshakes ($8) too, transforming any pop into a shake and adding whipped cream. There's also frozen hot chocolate, which blends Belgian chocolate gelato, cocoa powder, and a dash of sea salt topped with mini marshmallows and whipped cream. The truck can be found driving around town and frequenting food truck get-togethers in local neighborhoods.
Take a chance on Secret Garden
Let's face it: Wynwood's acclaimed Art Walk ain't for everyone. For every art
Take a dip at the Venetian Pool
When summer temps threaten to hit triple digits, there's one place in Miami that stays a consistent 76 to 78 degrees: the historic Venetian Pool in Coral Gables. Fed by a natural spring and drained nightly, the 820,000-gallon pool built in 1923 is ideal for a midday soak if your backyard is waterless or you find yourself terrorized by obnoxious drunks when you venture downstairs to your apartment's pool. This isn't just any neighborhood pool, either — with waterfalls, rock features, and faux Mediterranean ambiance, it's the only swimming hole in America on the National Register of Historic Places. For $13 for adults and $8 for kids (with extra discounts for Coral Gables residents), you'll get the most bang for your buck if you get there early and make a day of it. Bring your own snacks to avoid the lines at the concession stand, and put the money toward a chair rental so you'll have a place to sprawl out and stash your sunscreen. Take one last dip before the pool closes (around 4:30 to 6:30, depending
Bust a gut at Shirley's
Some comedy venues ask that revelers stick to a two-drink minimum. But visitors to Gramps' monthly showcase, Late-Nite Comedy, are lucky if they can leave standing up. That's an exaggeration, but honestly, what better place is there for locals to cut their teeth in comedy than in front of a dive-bar crowd? Every last Tuesday of the month, drinkers warm up at happy hour and file into Shirley's back room for standup that runs the gamut from laugh-out-loud to totally avant-garde. It's a rad scene, something fresh and hot in South Florida. It's so hot, in fact, that it inspired Hannibal Buress to hang around and perform a surprise set the next day. Quincy Jones used the venue to deliver an
Vogue at Gio's Total Split Show
When you first watch John Waters' cult classic Pink Flamingos, you're bombarded with so much gross goodness that you're left wondering why exactly Divine ate that dog shit but also loving him intensely for doing it. It's easy to conclude that maybe you just had to be there in that unique time and place to really get it. But then you see the fantastically trashy Miami drag duo Juleisy y Karla in person, and you realize this is that time and that place again, the perfect moment to shock with raw humanity and wildness. You see that the beauty in the truly raunchy is again revealed and updated for a new generation. Every second Monday of the month,
Catch a show at Villain Theater
Get drunk at the movies at Sunset Place
The Shops at Sunset Place was your high-school hangout. Remember those dorky manifests about groups of ten or more not allowed to loiter? You and your crew laughed at them. And because those were the days before Snapchat, you didn't really take pictures of the signs. If only you could have added a witty pic to your local story with a few emojis floating around! Alas, these days, you don't hang out as often at the mall as you used to. But there's one thing that has remained constant: the movie theater. AMC Sunset Place 24 is one of the few commercial theaters that shows more than the new releases. It also puts on works of small independent studios. The theater entrance is hidden on the third floor of the towering shopping center, and its ticket booths
Blow your life savings at LIV
Partying with the proletariat isn't a VIP's idea of a good time. That's not to say they aren't needed. After all, if a champagne sparkler lights up a room and nobody is there to Instagram it, did it really happen? That's why any self-respecting bourgeoisie knows you need an audience to show off to. That's where LIV's skyboxes come in. Soaring above the central dance floor, almost high enough that
When you finally find this windowless North Miami castle swollen with cheap beer and booze, Round Table Sportsbar & Lounge will make you feel like Indiana Jones unearthing the Holy Grail of dives. The exterior is gray and stately, and the roof even features a battlement detail. But once inside, you'll feel like you've stepped into another time and place. And you won't want to leave. Like every smoky watering hole, this place has games to distract you and beer that is cheaper than bottled water to keep you dehydrated.
Get cultured at the Wolfsonian-FIU
Before a certain developer got a museum on the bay named after him, and before Miami's one percent broke from a certain city to form its own art institution, there was the Wolfsonian-FIU. Founded in 1986 and opened to the public in 1995, the museum focuses on the role of design from the 1850s to the 1950s thanks to the Mitchell Wolfson Jr.
Belt It Out at Seven Seas
Cool Off at Drinkhouse
Sure, we have palm trees and the ability to wear bikinis year-round. The flip side, however, is the radioactive-intense sun and 99 percent humidity we get during Miami summers. And it's a good day when we're not being carried off by some tropical storm. So when the mercury hits 90 degrees, get thee to Drinkhouse Fire & Ice. Before you even walk inside, your core temperature seemingly drops at the sight of the cool blue lighting and pictures of what looks like a snow queen. Inside, you'll don a faux fur coat and hat before walking into what looks like a meat locker. Surprise! It's like being inside the Disney movie Frozen — except with cocktails! Sidle up to the ice bar (made of ice) and order a shot of vodka or a cocktail — served in a glass made of (what else?) ice. Sculptures change colors to the music, bathing you in a sea of frozen green and red. Admission to the ice bar costs $17 ($34 includes two drinks), and it's recommended you stay no longer than 45 minutes because your pampered Miami blood can't take the 23-degree freeze. But, oh, how delightful those 45 minutes in a crystalline wonderland will be.
Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.