Hello, Kitty: I'm a full-time girlfriend and a part-time stripper, and though it's been easy to juggle my two lives so far, I think the shit is about to hit the fan. My boyfriend is superconservative, and I mean Bible study, no cursing, dinner at 6, no drinking, no nothing. And I'm... well, a little more liberal, and I'm sure that's what he likes about me, but I'm not so sure he'd like that I shake my liberal ass nude three times a week. I've been able to hide it from him for the past seven months, but the other night, one of his supposedly strait-laced friends walked into my club and saw me on the center stage. He basically threatened to tell my boyfriend about my job, but he hasn't done it yet. I don't know what he's waiting for, but I'm wondering if I should beat him to the punch. Help!
Pol Danz
Hey, Pol: Jeez, doll. In my eyes, your only option is to tell your boyfriend before your friend runs his big mouth. If he hears it from you, you can twist the story around to "Poor me, I did what I had to do to feed myself," instead of hearing it from his boy and thinking, Bitch never told me she could make her booty clap. You might have a perfectly valid reason for keeping this from your guy — or not, which is why you want to be in charge of the lie. You can reveal that his friend's visit to the club prompted your sudden urge to be honest, but you definitely want to tell him first. He might surprise you and support your career, or he might dump you for lying, stripping, or both. If pole dancing is your thing, fuck what everyone else has to say about it. There are women out there doing much more, getting paid much less, and calling it a date. If you're with a man you have to hide things from, you might want to re-evaluate the relationship. And if his supposedly conservative friends are in and out of strip clubs, he could be too. Meow.
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