Five Best Miami Make-Out Spots for Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is two weeks away. Good luck getting dinner reservations this late in the game. And those online gifts you bought, chances are they won't arrive until February 15. But before you buy roses and cheap chocolates like every other amateur Casanova, Cultist is here to help stoke the embers of some hot loving. Check out our list of the five best make out spots in town. They're free and first base friendly.

Of course, have some excuse ready if the cops show up. And we don't recommend anything beyond kissing unless you're into exhibitionist play. Also, prepare to see others licking face and probably more at these hot spots. It is the night of love, after all.

5. Turning on the Jets  at Perimeter Road at MIA

Watching 747s speed down the tarmac and plunge into the sky gets us a

little hot and bothered. If does the same for you, check out various plane watching spots along

Perimeter Road at Miami International Airport. Sit on the hood of your

car and promise to take your date on a trip--first base guaranteed. Plus

if things get steamy, you're just minutes away from several motels with

rooms by the hour. Ear plugs recommended.

4. Happy Endings at Hobie Beach

The string of thin islands between mainland Miami and Key Biscayne is

the perfect spot to admire Miami's skyline with your lover by your side.

You can park within yards of Biscayne Bay with little problem. And like

they say, if you see the car next to you rocking, don't go knocking.

Hopefully, your fellow parkers will show you the same courtesy.

3. Jungle Loving on Jungle Island

Cruise ships are notorious dens of debauchery and apparently just

looking at them is enough to get most couples going. What used to be

Watson Island, now Jungle Island, is another great spot to park and

neck. Unfortunately, it's also a popular spot to commit suicide. We know

that's a downer, but just sayin' in case you hear gunshots.

2. Valentine's with the Gators - Tamiami Trail in Everglades

If you are really into star gazing we suggest hopping on Calle Ocho and

driving west until you lose the city lights in the distance and the sky

really shines with stars. There are several barren rest stops to park at,

look up, and kiss up your honey buns. Caution: Watch the gators and

serial killers who frequent isolated rest stops in Florida.

1. Getting Wet in Biscayne Bay Piano Bar

Sure, the mystery of who put a piano in Biscayne Bay is now over, but

that hasn't watered down the romantic allure of the symbol. Row a dinghy

out to the piano with your mate and we promise, the ivories won't be

the only things tickled.
Update: Ok, so they took the piano away. No worries. They put a table in its spot, couple of chairs, and a bottle of wine. Damn, they took that away also. We guess you'll have to wait and see what shows up next.

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Sebastian del Mármol