Hello, Kitty: I've always been a pretty frequent masturbator, and ever since I first used a massager as a vibrator, I've been doing it even more. Though the sensation alone can get me off, I climax much more quickly if I imagine that some hot girl is giving me oral. It's usually a celebrity, sometimes a girl I know, or someone I imagine — but always a female. At first, I had this fantasy only when I was alone, but now even when my boyfriend is actually down there, I still imagine "she" is doing it. I'm worried he'd be hurt if he found out, and I'm even more worried that for the rest of my life I'll have to do this in order to get off. What I'm not worried about is whether I'm a lesbian. It's clear to me that I am. Should I pursue it? Help!
Kynda Lez
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Hey, Kynda: I'd love to tell you that all couples think of only one another while intertwined in a sexual full nelson. But the truth is that sexual fulfillment through fantasies is pretty common. They're actually a great solution to many people's need/desire for infidelity. If you have a vivid imagination, you can have the pleasure of sleeping with someone else without risk. Note, though, that you're not helping your current relationship when you're off in la-la land. You probably shouldn't tell your boyfriend it takes the image of someone else's face to get you off. He's putting in the work to get you there. However, a hint at the fact you do it while masturbating doesn't have to be off-limits. He might be the type to get off on that. But if he's conservative, be aware he might not like that his girl is having lesbian fantasies. On the other hand, if you can't be accepted for who you are, a relationship re-evaluation might be in order. On the third, naughtier hand, your sexual thoughts are your business. Maybe the vision gets you so excited because it's illicit and private. I say keep it and use it; anything is cool in moderation. But only as long as it's not dominating all the intimate moments with your boyfriend. Give reality and fantasy equal time and you'll be fine. As far as the last question, if you're convinced you are a lesbian, a real taste is in order. You'll never know until you bi, er, try. Meow.
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