Bossa Nova, Momma

Sun 5/11

Thrown as a benefit for the Relief for Life Foundation, an organization devoted to raising money to purchase wheelchairs for the Latin American poor, the Mother's Day concert dubbed Bossa Nova on the Beach boasts its own bit of irony. The evening's special guest will be Heloisa Pinheiro, the gal who was able to shake her money maker into musical history. More than 40 years ago, Pinheiro may have been "like a samba that swings so cool, and sways so gentle," but the stunning sight of her strolling toward Ipanema beach in Rio de Janeiro inspired composers Antonio Carlos Jobim and Vinicius de Moraes, hanging out in a local bar, to write the world's most popular bossa nova tune, "The Girl from Ipanema." American saxophonist Stan Getz's version supplemented by Jobim, guitarist Joao Gilberto, and his wife Astrud Gilberto's sultry vocals on the album Getz/Gilberto, made the song an international hit in 1963. (Dynamic Brazilian crooner Pery Ribeiro, who actually claims the distinction of being the first ever to record "The Girl from Ipanema," will headline this weekend's show. The Aquarela Quartet and the Nautilus Middle School Choir provide vocal support.)Sued by the song's heirs in 2001 for trying to capitalize on her "Girl from Ipanema" fame by opening a Rio boutique named after the song, Heloisa Pinheiro has endured her share of travails. But she remains tall and tan and lovely, if not so young anymore. The now fiftysomething carioca recently posed in Brazilian Playboy with her youngest daughter, a 24-year-old actress named Ticiane. It's the second appearance for the mom, who first graced the mag's pages in 1987. How's that for a Mother's Day present? Hmmm, sounds more like a Father's Day gift to us.-- By Nina Korman

Bossa Nova on the Beach takes place at 7:00 p.m. at the Lincoln Theatre, 541 Lincoln Rd, Miami Beach. Tickets range from $22 to $52. Call 786-621-4581.

Thur 5/8

Solo Nuptuality, Wedding One Women

Budding performance artist Jasmine Kastel took Whitney Houston's The Greatest Love of All most seriously. Judging from the premise of her performance, Marriage to My SELF tonight, it's safe to say Kastel really loves herself -- a lot. She skipped the preliminaries and after three dates decided to go ahead and marry her own inner Mr. Right. She ordered all the things she needs for her special day -- liquor, a DJ, wedding cake, bridesmaids, and an $18 beaded gown at Salvation Army. This week she plans on taking a trip to the Miami Beach City Clerk for a marriage license. Although some may think she's cheating herself halfway, Kastel insists she's getting the better deal. Just think, no nagging in-laws with expectations of snotty offspring for starters. The performance is officiated by an ordained Wiccan priestess. We look forward to seeing the kiss and the blushing bride's dance. Can we say "Sybil"? The performance begins promptly at 6:30 p.m. at the Miami Beach Botanical Garden, 2000 Convention Center Drive, Miami Beach. Admission is free. Call 305-586-3344. -- Juan Carlos Rodriguez

Fri 5/9

Amusing Argentineans

TV personalities in Argentina, the three comedians known as Midachi have been performing their hilarious jokes and impersonations for more than two decades. Spanish speakers will be comfortable with their act, but it's not necessary to know the language: The trio crosses many borders, mocking Luis Miguel, Celia Cruz, and even the Pope and Dracula in an energetic two-hour presentation. Attention to detail can be found in every tune, which they sing live, and in their battery of always-updated banter, which has created a phenomenon around them. To date Midachi (a play on their names Miguel Del Sel, Dady Brieva, and Chino Volpato) has performed in front of more than three and a half million people. They'll certainly know how to get a good laugh out of you when they bring their latest show, 20 Años No es Nada (Twenty Years is Nothing), to the Jackie Gleason Theater of the Performing Arts (1700 Washington Ave., Miami Beach) at 8:30 tonight. Tickets range from $19 to $59. Call 305-673-7300. -- Javier Andrade

Sat 5/10

Poetry in Motion

Dancer/choreographer Esaias Johnson refers to her six-year-old company Dance Esaias's upcoming performance, Like Water from the Well, as a trip back to the music, dance, and literature of her past: "My choreography mixes ballet, modern, and hip-hop, but my roots are modern dance. My father was an opera singer, so I'm used to working with lyrics." Johnson's troupe counts members from Miami City Ballet and the Dance Theatre of Harlem. In Like Water, she has produced what she calls a "kinetic reaction" to the writings of Langston Hughes, James Baldwin, and Nikki Giovanni. The score, like the dance, synthesizes a range of traditions from classical to neoclassical to hip-hop. Musician John Camacho will perform a work by William Grant Still, the first African-American composer to conduct a major symphony and Johnson's great-great uncle. Showtime is at 8:00 p.m. at the Nautilus Theater, Nautilus Middle School, 4301 N. Michigan Ave., Miami Beach. Tickets cost $15. Call 305-560-1150.--By Mia Leonin

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