Once in a great while, the world of literature is graced with a new birth so promising, so spectacular, that mankind's faith in the power of expression rekindles. It happens perhaps every eon, or perhaps every epoch. For some, the epiphanic texts are Biblical; others find their souls stirred by the modern novels. But few have discovered the rarefied pleasure of reading the press releases of the Hialeah Police Department, and especially the golden prose that flows from the divine pen of Public Information Officer Jose Caragol.
Caragol's work should not be guzzled with heedless rapidity, but instead sipped with the respect reserved for vintage wines. The pleasure is in the process. Witness, for example, the sublime music of an October 22 story, titled simply "Hialeah Police Department News Release." From the exhilarating sprawl of the first and second sentences to the terse authoritarianism of the penultimate paragraph's "Detective Ralph Garcia initiated the investigation," Caragol's narrative comprises and advances the literary tradition. To read the piece as a straightforward account of the apprehension of a suspect in a child pornography case is akin to claiming that Moby-Dick was merely a story about a white whale, or Madame Bovary simply a wife's tale. Peerless literature - like sunsets, symphonies, or really aerobic sex - caresses infinity.
Silence from the audience, please. The maestro has entered the auditorium.
Hialeah Police Department News Release
By Jose Caragol
In an unpredictably hard to believe accident, while the traffic at 68th Street and West 12th Avenue was as regularly dense as it turns out to be during noontime, a weird private chase by a driver who was hit by the person later on arrested, resulted in a surprising shameful discovery by responding uniformed officers who were present at the scene.
Earlier on Monday, October 21 in the vicinity of West 4th Avenue and 64th Street, the subject vehicle driver appeared to conduct his vehicle under circumstances which clearly evidenced irregular handling of his car, and as reasonably expected he collided causing severe damages to his own car as following a hit and run contact with a law abiding driver who was infuriated by the carelessness of the above mentioned subject, said citizen began a furious chase in order to capture the fleeing reckless subject.
At the location of 68th Street, while alert neighbors apparently called the Police, a hard impact forced the subject to abandon his car commencing a foot chase in order to take elusive action from the approaching police cruiser.
As the subject began to run away from the pursuing officers, and for unknown reasons appeared to closely guard a valuable heavy metal box which prevented a successful disappearance from the scene.
The subject suddenly lost control of his valuable possession carried under his arm, and photographs, films and pictures clouded his surroundings. Immediately while trying to collect some of the released items, the subject still running, jumped and landed under a car which happened to be parked nearby.
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Police carefully and forcibly tried to remove the subject from under the vehicle cautiously drawing weapons as by this time it wasn't clear what the box contained and it was evident by any reasonable standard that they were facing illegally conducted activities triggered by subject's fleeing behavior and confirmed by the attention given to the mystery box.
Officers on the scene discovered on the scene what patently depicted child porno's photographs. The subject was apprehended and transported to Police headquarters in order to determine the proper procedure to ascertain the facts and the legal implications of the material in his possession. Detective Ralph Garcia initiated the investigation. During interviews with the subject it became apparent that the collage of photographs were taken in various locations in South Florida. These places included Hollywood, Wilton Manors, unincorporated Dade County, and agents from all departments mentioned, except Metro Dade Police responded immediately to the investigation being conducted at said time.
Subject explained both the origin and the locations where each photo was taken. Following being identified as Timothy William Maddalino, age 39, white, male, who was been charged with possession of child pornography and transported to County jail.
END OF REPORT
October 22, 12:40 a.m.