New Times Story">

Mark Wahlberg in Pain & Gain: Actor Now "Insanely Buff" For Adaptation of New Times Story

How big is Mark Wahlberg? That's a fully grown man he's hanging out with.
How big is Mark Wahlberg? That's a fully grown man he's hanging out with.
Pacific Coast News

WICKED HAWT PECS, MARKY MARK.

The famous actor who now insists on being called Mark Wahlberg is in Miami, starring in a Michael Bay adaptation of a circa-2000 New Times investigation, Pain & Gain. He went to the beach yesterday with his wife and kids, and we are proud to say that because of something we wrote twelve years ago, Wahlberg now looks like a big, 'roided-up freak. Or as Radaronline.com puts it-- and they know best-- he is now "insanely buff."

The real-life story is that of juicing gym rats who turn to violent crime. And apparently in Wahlberg's case, you cant mimic the physique of a white Barry Bonds without some bodily abuse. As we reported, the actor-- 4 Eva known for his galvanizing performance in Fear-- has been tumbling, dangling, and running around film shoots in Little Havana and Wynwood, like a manchild hopped up on speed.

We're hoping that this level of super-buffness is the beginning, and his physique gets out of control and a few months from now TMZ will be reporting that Wahlberg is prowling South Beach in a Speedo, knocking people's lattes over with his firm man-boobs and throwing tables into the street.

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We now leave you with some Radaronline.com poetry: "He put his muscles to the test by dunking his six-year-old son Michael in and out of the sea."

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