What do the babes on Ocean Drive eat? And more importantly, just how bad are the pick-up lines used by the sunburned, oversexed, neanderthalic geniuses who pass by them? Short Order decided to check -- and also to determine the favorite foods of five hostesses.
5. Sheryl Rodriguez, the hostess at Larios on the Beach, is at the
bottom of this list. She had no favorite pick-up line. The 24-year-old
gets hit on a lot but can't remember the best come-on. Since she has a
significant others, she bounces suitors by smiling. Rodriguez cites the
Churrasco a lo Cubano ($20.95), a skirt steak served with rice, sweet
plantains, and chimichurri sauce as her favorite Larios dish.
4. Maria Rodionova of The Place Restaurant & Bar also failed on the
come-on line front. She gets fourth place, though, for having a
collection - according to her, a basketful - of business cards from men
who have hit on her. The 21-year-old from Russia claims the Steak a la
Cubanita ($9.50) -- sense a pattern here? -- as her favorite plate at
The Place. Yup, it's a skirt steak with rice and beans on the side.
3.
Sally, the friendly 18-year-old hostess from Ocean's Ten, placed third.
She told Short Order exhaustedly that she gets hit on all day. Her top
two pick-up lines are "Are you on the menu?" and "Is your number on the
flyer?" Uggh. Sally's favorite dish at Ocean's Ten is the paella
($46.95 for two), here made in a land-and-sea style - rice is topped
with shrimps, clams, calamari, mussels, chorizo, and chicken.
2.
At number 2 comes Julia Gilmanova, the 21-year-old hostess from Bice
Café. Also hailing from Russia (another pattern?), her favorite meal is
the churrasco (Oh My God) steak salad ($9.99), which includes skirt
steak, lettuce, tomato, mango, avocado, Teriyaki lime dressing, and
toasted sesame seeds. In terms of pick-up lines, the answer was weak
here too. She asked a passerby whether he would like to "join us for
lunch." He responded, "Would you like to join me for lunch?" A level up from Sally's suitors.
1.
The best pick-up line comes from 22-year-old Stephanie Fonseca of
Mangos Tropical Café. A courter once told her that dimples on her
shoulders "were a kiss from an angel before she was born." Not only is
this romantic but it requires a noteworthy level of observation.
Stephanie's favorite dish at Mangos is the snapper piccata ($22.95),
which comes with a garlic, white wine, lemon, and caper sauce, along
with sides of mashed potatoes and sauteed vegetables. If the
above-mentioned Romeo is reading this message, he should listen up.
might have a chance with Stephanie if he invites her to a Snapper
piccata.
Larios on the Beach
820 Ocean Drive
Miami Beach, FL 33139
(305) 532-9577
Ocean's Ten
960 Ocean Drive
Miami Beach, FL 33139
(305) 604-1999
Bice Café
1144 Ocean Drive
Miami, FL 33139
(305) 428-1234
Mangos Tropical Café
900 Ocean Drive
Miami Beach, FL 33139
(786) 871-1247