Home Cooking

Top Five Worst Thanksgiving Dishes

Green Bean Casserole

The main ingredients: condensed cream

of mushroom soup, green beans, fried onions. The gist: mix it up and

bake it. The verdict: Wow, are green beans really so horrible their flavor must be squandered by the likes of canned soup and fried

onions? And if you use canned green

beans and a can of fried onions, this casserole is sure to look

a lot like the vomit it may produce.

Canned Cranberry Sauce

A simple cranberry sauce recipe calls

for sugar, water, and fresh cranberries. Another option is to buy a

can of the gelatinous concoction, complete with can lines,

and present it on a platter as a tower of processed tartness.

Instant Mashed Potatoes

Does anything else scream "I'm not suited to be cooking Thanksgiving dinner!" more than whipping up instant mashed potatoes?! Enough said.

Jello Fruit Salad

Fear of the unknown suspended in a mold of strawberry gelatin is what Jello fruit salad is. Your best bet is to forget about serving anything on Thanksgiving that jiggles.

Instant Gravy

If you're basting or brining a turkey, making mashed potatoes from scratch, and even attempting an apple pie, chances are you have the cooking acumen to prepare gravy from the leftover grease in the roasting pan. But if not, then you're cheating yourself and your Thanksgiving guests with the salty stuff.

KEEP MIAMI NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
John Zur