Green Bean Casserole
The main ingredients: condensed cream
of mushroom soup, green beans, fried onions. The gist: mix it up and
bake it. The verdict: Wow, are green beans really so horrible their flavor must be squandered by the likes of canned soup and fried
onions? And if you use canned green
beans and a can of fried onions, this casserole is sure to look
a lot like the vomit it may produce.
Canned Cranberry Sauce
A simple cranberry sauce recipe calls
for sugar, water, and fresh cranberries. Another option is to buy a
can of the gelatinous concoction, complete with can lines,
and present it on a platter as a tower of processed tartness.
Instant Mashed Potatoes
Does anything else scream "I'm not suited to be cooking Thanksgiving dinner!" more than whipping up instant mashed potatoes?! Enough said.
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Jello Fruit Salad
Fear of the unknown suspended in a mold of strawberry gelatin is what Jello fruit salad is. Your best bet is to forget about serving anything on Thanksgiving that jiggles.
If you're basting or brining a turkey, making mashed potatoes from scratch, and even attempting an apple pie, chances are you have the cooking acumen to prepare gravy from the leftover grease in the roasting pan. But if not, then you're cheating yourself and your Thanksgiving guests with the salty stuff.