The Five Most Insane Burgers in Miami | Miami New Times

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The Five Most Insane Burgers in Miami

In a city chock-full of empanadas, pastelitos and sándwiches Cubano, there’s nothing quite like a big, juicy burger to hit the spot. Luckily for you, May is National Burger Month, which means 31 days of straight up quarter pounder lovin’. But then again there are some people who don’t need...
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In a city chock-full of empanadas, pastelitos, and sándwiches cubanos, there’s nothing quite like a big, juicy burger to hit the spot. Luckily for you, May is National Burger Month, which means 31 days of straight-up quarter-pounder lovin’. But then again, some people don’t need a designated month to expand their burger repertoire — grabbing a mouthwatering meat patty is a year-round occurrence.

Regardless of which kind of burger lover you claim to be, this is the chance to opt out of being basic and challenge the #foodie in you. Miami is no stranger to testing the limits of logic and creativity, with restaurants playing up the once tried-and-true classic into no-holds-barred, beefed-up inventions. From larger-than-life concoctions you can barely fit in your mouth to unexpected tostones buns that can only be described as “so Miami,” sink your teeth into just one — or all five — of the craziest burgers the 305 offers. 

5. Doralzuela at Pepito’s Plaza
Sometimes good things are found in unlikely places. Cue the monstrous Doralzuela at Pepito’s Plaza, nestled on the side of an Exxon gas station. The Doral counter-serve eatery cooks up Venezuelan street-food stunners, from cachapas and arepas to perro calientes and pepito sandwiches. But none can compare to this colossal two-hander, which for $12 packs beef, ham, chicken, a fried egg, slices of avocado, and potato sticks into one insane bite for your eating pleasure. So here’s to fueling up your car and your body. 

4. American Wagyu Kobe Burger at Rok:Brgr  
Rok:Brgr dishes out handcrafted burgers at different price points, with the lunchbox special, featuring $11 to $12 burgers with fries and a soda, being a favorite among customers looking to get their burger fix on a budget Monday through Friday from 11:30 a.m. to 3 p.m. During National Burger Month, however, this casual burger joint goes gourmet with the extravagant ten-ounce American Wagyu Kobe burger for a whopping $50. A golden brioche bun holds a blend of Kobe brisket and chuck with foie gras, truffle cream, Brie, and blood orange marmalade, finished with summer truffles shaved tableside.

3. Toston Burger at Pincho Factory 
Whether you’re scarfing down a fritanga burger or the special pastelito burger — yes, that’s a flavorful patty sandwiched between two flaky guava pastries — there’s no question Pincho Factory’s burgers are out of this world. But it’s the toston burger ($8.49) that grabs all of the attention. It is, after all, the best of both worlds. Jack cheese sizzles on a juice-filled patty that rests between two perfectly crisp fried plantains, creating an otherworldly blend of savory and salty. Indeed, the toston burger is emblematic of the Magic City, including its potential to outshine the rest.

2. Batch Attack Burger at Batch Gastropub  
Not for the faint of heart, this aggressively indulgent dish packs a mean, flavor-filled punch with every bite. Priced at $22, it’s nothing short of beautiful: panko-breaded mac 'n' cheese stacked atop an eight-ounce prime brisket with pecan Jameson candied bacon, maple-smoked cheddar cheese, and whiskey caramelized onion, slathered with Batch’s tasty sauce. Mac 'n' cheese plus a burger? Now that’s beastly. No, it’s not Beauty and the Beast; it’s the Batch Attack.

1. The Mother Burger at Burger & Beer Joint
This standby spot does a lot of things right when it comes to burgers. But the mother of all burgers — rightfully dubbed the "mother burger" — is pure madness. You don’t have to be a butcher to appreciate glorious amounts of meat, but meat served in this magnitude warrants a whole new level of appreciation. So for $125, grab a dozen of your hungriest friends and let your inner carnivore feast on this ginormous ten-pounder. It’s free if you finish it in two hours. Any takers?

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