Friday Food Funnies: George Carlin

He passed away a year ago this month. Here are some of his observations on culinary matters:'Fussy eater' is a euphemism for 'big pain in the ass'.Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: 'I'm saving food!' Then a month later...

By Lee Klein

June 12, 2009

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He passed away a year ago this month. Here are some of his observations on culinary matters:

'Fussy eater' is a euphemism for 'big pain in the ass'.

Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: 'I'm saving food!' Then a month later when blue hair is growing out of the ham, and you throw it away, you feel really intelligent: 'I'm saving my life!'

Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?

I can't eat frog's legs. What do they do with the rest of the frog? Do they put it on a little dolly and send it out into the world?

Tomatoes don't look right. On the outside they're fine, but you look inside and something has gone afoul. It doesn't look like it's finished. It looks like it's in the larval stage or something.

Another food that doesn't sound so good: 'Squash'. 'You want some SQUASH?' Shit no -- sounds like someone sat on my dinner.

Miami New Times' restaurant reviewer for the past decade, and the world's indisputable master of disguise.

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