Riptide reported yesterday that a 47-year old woman was arrested in a prostitution sting operation in southwest Florida. That sounds like a typical evening for any police department. Except the woman requested a very specific trade-off for her services.
According to the police report, Christine Faith Baker's fee for sex was two McDonald's double cheeseburgers (oh, and a $40 tip would be nice, too, according to the the undercover detective).
We've all heard the saying food is love, but, let's face it. Many times, a good meal can not only be the prelude to sex -- it can be way better than sex.
So, as a public service to Christine Faith Baker (and everyone else who thinks two McDonald's burgers are worth trading themselves for), we say have a little more pride! Keep it in your pants and eat these dishes instead.
Wood Oven Roasted Double Yolk Farm Egg from Michael's Genuine Food & Drink ($8)
This simple egg, covered in cave aged gruyere and served with a piece of sourdough crostini, makes us giddy with happiness. Gooey, hot, and cheesy -- this little dish is a sensual mouthful that requires no partner.
Blue Collar's Grilled Swordfish ($18)
Why is this swordfish so damn fresh? It could be that Blue Collar chef/owner Daniel Serfer kept his fish-mongering connections from his days at Chef Allen's and 15th Street Fisheries, but (like a one-night-stand) we don't care for too much information. Only that his swordfish is perfectly cooked - and better than most second dates.
- Local
- Community
- Journalism
Support the independent voice of Miami and help keep the future of New Times free.
Scarpetta's Spaghetti with Tomato and Basil ($24)
This spaghetti is so good, you'll not only want to eat it, you'll want to bathe in it, proving once and for all that the simplest dish, made beautifully, is usually the best. Eat the entire steaming bowl with a few glasses of wine and you'll slip into a food coma so perfect, sex will be the last thing on your mind.
Spiked Frrrozen Hot Chocolate at Serendipity 3 ($14)
In New York, Serendipity 3 offered frrrozen hot chocolates, but there was something lacking. We figured out it was booze. With a full liquor license, the South Beach Serendipity 3 puts more than a little booze in their drinks, making them potent, chocolatey masterpieces. Besides, isn't chocolate always better than sex?
Margherita Pecorino Sardo Pizza at Spartico ($13.95)
You know the old joke, "The difference between sex and pizza is that there's no such thing as bad pizza", right? Well, we're here to tell you that this pizza, made with fresh local mozzarella, local organic oregano, and San Marzano tomatoes is good enough to make you cry with joy. And, unlike sex, this pie is always a sure thing.
Follow Short Order on Facebook and Twitter @Short_Order.
Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.
