Cocktober and Aphrodisiac Ice Cream: Andrew Zimmern's Bizarre Week in Florida

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I have to thank Bizarre Food's Andrew Zimmern for making it to Miami. I'd originally dropped a grapevine hint that he'd soon be in town only because I recently noticed his Twitter conversation with Chef Geoffrey Zakarian about visiting Tudor House.

But I didn't actually think he was serious!

Our Zimmern in Miami Twitter Tour starts five days ago (December 8) at approximately 5:22 p.m. His first tweet from the Sunshine State came from a gas station in Central Florida. It was a photo of Boone's Farm Apple Wines... about a dozen of them to be exact. Classy, Zimmern.

Anyway, upward and onward!

5:47p.m. Zimmern tweeted photos of some pretty delicious and some pretty bizarre foods we suspect to be at a nearby Seminole reservation.

Among the edibles included fresh Seminole-style palm hearts, pumpkin frybread (this looked absolutely delicious, by the way), and good ol' Aunt Martha cleaning a turtle, sans tools (that's right... Aunt Martha cleaned out a turtle with her bare hands). While this didn't look as appetizing, I reminded myself that it's Andrew Zimmern... wouldn't be so if I didn't heave a little. Needless to say Aunt Martha threw the turtle on a hot open grill and Zimmern tweeted a photo of that too. I'll spare you and offer this instead: Looks delish, huh?

From approximately 6 to 11 p.m. Zimmern tweeted with followers -- gabbing on about reindeer, wagyu and Ty Pennington.

To begin December 9 just right, Zimmern tweeted with followers about do-it-yourself stocking stuffers, Bitchin' Kitchen, two chaps named Marshall and Keith and an alligator. He does note, though, that he's now in the Everglades.

At around 3:38 p.m. is when things got a little, well, bizarre. Zimmern tweeted of his plans to observe newly coined 'cocktober' before 'movember' next year ('Movember' is a term for Mens' Health Awareness Month). Nothing quite like the vision of humpty-dumpty-head Andrew Zimmern (we mean that in a good way) observing 'cocktober' and making sexual innuendos (albeit funny) with strangers over the Internet. Let's shake the image out of our heads, shall we?

Zimmern tweeted a photo of cat tail and fernheads at Mack's Fish Camp (boring...). A few hours later, though, he tweeted a photo of himself with the Aphrodisiac Ice Cream truck girls and proceeded to comment to Lee Schrager that the food trucks are wild in Miami. But of course!

Side note: Is the one all the way to the left wearing anything else other than body paint? That is wild, Zimmern. Good call.

At approximately 9:14 p.m. Zimmern tweeted from Red the Steakhouse where he dined with Eater.com editor Lesley Abravanel. Also tweeted to Chef Chris Cosentino about wanting a little hang out time with him soon. He's bizarre, but he's sweet too.

On to December 10. It's Saturday and Zimmern stayed mum on Twitter until around 3 p.m. Zimmern tweeted the first of so many (not that we're complaining) from Fritanga Montelimar, a Nicaraguan restaurant, in Kendall.

I have to say, this series of tweets had my mouth watering...

platanos, grilled pork, sweet and sour lengua, Indio Viejo (corn and pork stew). I'd reference these to salivate again any day.

It's now 4:12 in the afternoon and Zimmern is off for dessert at Raspado Loly's in Sweetwater for a 'Relleno' (shaved ice with pound cake added).

Zimmern describes it as the best 'Nica' essert ever, with dulce de leche, ice and cake... honestly it looked scrumptious and I'm no dulce de leche type of gal.

He also stopped by Madrono in Sweetwater and provided a photo of table condiments which included hot sauce, onion-chile pickle, chimmichurri and vinaigrette.

Perhaps a preamble to a wild night at Wall at the W South Beach, Zimmern paid a visit to The Dutch and even let out a "OMFG" to Chef Andre Carmellini's hamachi radish watermelon jalapeño.

What may be one of the best photos of his trip:

Partying it up with Wall partner ;Nicola Siervo in the wee hours of the morning.

Bug eating Zimmern stayed low-key until he resurfaced the afternoon of December 11 (around 3:20 p.m. to be exact) with a tweeted photo of him and chef Michelle Bernstein at El Palacio de los Jugos (no word on which location, though).

Zimmern spent part of that evening at Joe's Stone Crab where the claws were bountiful and the other part at Prime One Twelve for one of the best steaks in memory and inedible garnish.

The last relevant tweet as of 1 a.m. the morning of December 14 is Zimmern bidding adieu for the evening and thanking everyone who participated with him in this month's Cobaya dinner at Azul. He tweeted that pictures will come tomorrow (adds in an "oy vey" due to his food coma) but lucky for you, I've had my inside man, Carlos Acosta, there snapping photos the whole time.

Here's Zimmern and Schrager at last night's Cobaya Azul with chef Joel Huff and his sous chef explaining the dessert course.

The man certainly gave South Florida a run for its money, wouldn't you say? He eats and tweets about everything... but if he didn't, it wouldn't be as fun. Carry on, Zimmern. Hope you enjoyed our humble dwelling.

Follow Short Order on Facebook and Twitter @Short_Order.

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