Now, as a New Times contributor, I finally get to do what I was born to do: listicles (check out my latest on the Best Burgers in Miami). But not the kind written by someone who's tried maybe 10 percent of what's on the list. This list? I've tried every single dog, and then some. Because, let's face it, sometimes all you need is a no-frills dog from Racetrack, or a $1.50 fix from Costco. Maybe you’re at the mall grabbing Auntie Anne’s or Wetzel’s Pretzels. Heck, shoutout to Jay's Hot Dog Cart (1350 NW 14th St.), which has been holding it down on the street since 1988. One more thing: BurgerFi, you took off the chili dog? Unacceptable. That's voodoo doll behavior. Bring it back.
Since it's July, meaning it's National Hot Dog Month, I thought to myself, "Beast, let's round up the finest cylindrical meats Miami has to offer." So, here it is — the definitive list. The mission? Try them all by month’s end. As Rob Schneider once said in The Waterboy, "You can do it!"
Without further ado, cylindrical meat lovers, your time has come. Go forth, ketchup if you're five years old, mustard mandatory. You've got 31 days and 11 dogs. Get to work.
11. Yann Couvreur Café
2243 NW Second Ave., Wynwoodcafe.yanncouvreur.usThe "Hot Fox Classic" is a thick ass hot dog on layered croissant-dough acting as a bun: buttery, flaky, and drizzled with mustard. Available only at the takeout window (or Uber Eats) from Thursday to Saturday, 6 p.m. to midnight. It's a French twist on the American classic. Fuckin' A, it's good.
10. Keg South
10417 S. Dixie Hwy., Miami305-284-9296
instagram.com/kegsouth_104You could get the standard split-griddled beef dog, and it's great. But if you really want to sweat, go for the "Death Dog," loaded with cheese, jalapeños, onions, horseradish, and a kick of Tabasco sauce. Don't say I didn't warn you.
9. Hot Dog Maracay
900 NW Seventh Ave., Miami786-794-8366
instagram.com/hotdogmaracaymiamiIt looks like chaos: potato sticks, corn, ketchup, mustard, mayo, and freshly shredded cheddar right before your eyes; all piled onto a steamed bun. However, it somehow works and works well. Go for the two-dog combo with a can of soda. Trust me.
8. Devil Fruit Tea Studio
8665 Coral Way, Miami786-953-6758
devilfruittea.comDevil Fruit Tea Studio's Korean-style corn dogs are wild in the best way. The cheese corn dog is just a slab of molten cheese in a crispy potato coating with ranch drizzle, a science experiment you eat. But the actual corndog? Go for the panko crust, Hot Cheetos, and spicy cheese sauce combo. It's over the top, messy, and brilliant.
7. Dogma Grill
7030 Biscayne Blvd., Miami305-759-3433
dogmagrill.comThe "Pitchfork Dog" with its barbecue sauce, melted cheddar, grilled onions, and bacon has survived every menu change since 2002, and thank goodness for that. It’s still the best thing here. (R.I.P. "Burrito Dog:" gone but never forgotten.)
6. Off Site
8250 NE Second Ave., Miami786-360-4237
offsite.miamiThis comfort food spot serves up a craft-level dog: smoked all-beef, topped with kraut, curry mustard, and everything bagel seasoning. There's also a "Chicago Dog" and the occasional beer-poached brat. Their Fourth of July "Everything Bagel Dog" with El Bagel was a showstopper — here's hoping it becomes a tradition.
5. Pincho
9251 W. Flagler St., Miami786-590-1455
pincho.comThe "Pincho Dog" is topped with bacon, chopped pineapple, house Pincho sauce, cilantro sauce, and papitas. It's slightly tropical, savory, and like Miami traffic, a tiny bit crazy.
4. La Birra Bar
14831 Biscayne Blvd., North Miami Beach305-705-2143
labirrabarusa.comThe "Crispy Onion Hot Dog" is stacked with bacon cubes, crispy onions, and a mess of sauces. It’s indulgent, it’s messy, and it hits the spot. There are zero complaints on this side of the table.
3. Cuento Sandwiches
4237 NW 107th Ave., Doral305-400-8374
cuentosandwiches.comThe "Filipino Ripper" is scored and then deep-fried, topped with banana ketchup, roasted garlic mayo, and green papaya slaw. It's chaotic in theory, delicious in practice, and served on a soft Martin’s bun. A must-try.
2. Arbetter's Hot Dogs
8747 SW 40th St., Miami305-207-0555
arbetters.comThe OG of Miami dogs. Whether it's the classic "All-Around" (relish, mustard, and onion) or my personal go-to — chili, mustard, and diced onions — Arbetter's is still doing it right. Want options? They've added tater tots, onion rings, an all-beef Sabrett, and even a "Monster Dog." It's all comfort and no pretense, just like it should be. Important note: My wife, Marcela, loves the "West Virginia," which adds slaw to the chili dog.
1. Babe's Meat & Counter
9216 SW 156th St., Miami786-429-1315
babefroman.comListen up: this skin-on hot dog is the real deal. Topped with house-made chili, cheese sauce, and finely diced onions, it's everything you want: nostalgic, rich, and perfectly executed. This is how a chili cheese dog should be done.
