Miami Sports Thanksgiving: Local Athletes If They Were Holiday Food Dishes

It's that special time of year when we gather with friends and family to give thanks for all we have and celebrate with the people who mean the most in our lives. At the center of the proceedings is, of course, Thanksgiving dinner, which hopefully includes enough tryptophan-filled turkey, mashed potatoes, and fixings to keep spirits high while preventing decades-old family grudges from erupting into an atomic reckoning.

With the time to give thanks upon us, kitchens around the country are stocked with the ingredients needed to polish off a classic holiday meal. So, as a way to thank our local athletes, we've invited a select few to our Thanksgiving — not as guests, but as the dishes we'll serve.

It's something of a tradition for New Times' sports column. When Fourth of July or Thanksgiving come around, we drift into a semi-hallucinatory state where Miami sports stars metamorphose into various holiday staples. (This past Independence Day, we hosted a barbecue where Jazz Chisholm transmogrified into a hot dog.)

We promise it's much more of a tribute and sign of gratitude than that made it sound.

Mashed Potatoes: Wilkins and Sieler

Imagine a photo of an immaculate Thanksgiving spread placed upon a meticulously decorated table. Picture the centerpiece lined with cranberries beside a glistening golden turkey. Now, find the mashed potatoes. Chances are they're being overlooked and under-appreciated, just sitting in a dull Pyrex baking pan, doing they're job.

That's the Miami Dolphins' dynamic defensive line duo of Christian Wilkins and Zach Sieler — filling, vital, and often under-the-radar but critical to the team's success. They might not go on the Thanksgiving poster, but you'll certainly feel their impact close to the table.

Mac and Cheese: Jazz Chisholm

Jazz Chisholm and macaroni and cheese — not for everyone, but undeniably delicious!

Turkey-day traditionalists may scoff at the assertion that macaroni and cheese should be served on Thanksgiving. While those of a certain rigid mindset might argue there is a time and a place for that sort of boldness, others scoff in the face of the old guard and make the point that deliciousness should be welcomed at any dinner.

Like mac and cheese, Chisholm brings a fresh flavor to the table.

Let the Atlanta Braves fans and your grandpa stay mad; we're dropping a hot plate of ooey-gooey Chisholm for Thanksgiving.

Prime Rib: Jimmy Butler

We all know those who serve prime rib instead of turkey on Thanksgiving. It's meant as a big middle finger to the Big Thanksgiving establishment and a power move by non-conformists who could not care less what you think.

It's almost as if they delight in trolling everyone. Folks, this is Jimmy Butler. He is prime rib on Thanksgiving, delicious and yet somehow totally hilarious in context.

All hail Jimmy Butler and prime rib, the (dis)embodiment of a Thanksgiving meme.

Stuffing: Bam Adebayo

The Miami Heat's box score stuffer is the stuffing. Get it?

The star of the show to some, stuffing is a Thanksgiving mainstay that ought not be neglected. Without stuffing, there is no turkey dinner. It just won't hit the same. If you don't believe that to be the case, try inviting family over this year and not having a bowl of sausage stuffing on the table. A mutiny might ensue.

Bringing reliability to the plate and holding the meal together, the stuffing would be sorely missed if it were gone. The same goes for Bam Adebayo. He may not get praised as the best player on his team, but when you look at the table after the main event, his dish is the most frequented.

Turkey: Leo Messi

You could hold Thanksgiving in Vietnam, and turkey would remain the show's star. Messi is the turkey, the main course in demand by fans worldwide

Inter Miami games without Messi are akin to the scene in a Christmas Story when the family is forced to go out for Chinese food because dogs broke in and ate the turkey. Dinner derailed. Little can be done to fix this problem unless you have another Messi in your oven.

Dessert: Miami Dolphins Speed

You were sadly mistaken if you thought we could leave this South Florida sports Thanksgiving without indulging in the sweetness of the Miami Dolphins' monumentally speedy offense.

We're here for a slice of Tyreek Hill, Jaylen Waddle, with a few scoops of De'Von Achane and Raheem Mostert on the side. If we started with a filling plate of Wilkins and Sieler, we'd finish with a chocolate-dipped pumpkin-bite touchdown courtesy of the Dolphins' sprinters. That's how you end a meal.