Hassan Whiteside Definitely Isn't Sad About the Heat Trading Him

Someone call Marie Kondo, because the Miami Heat has a mess on its hands. The best type of mess, that is. It's the sort of beef that sells tickets — a true villain-versus-superhero, good-guy/bad-guy story.

Hassan Whiteside remains in full-fledged hide-the-butthurt mode since the Heat traded him to the Portland Trailblazers last month. The salary-dump move that allowed the team to complete a sign-and-trade that brought Jimmy Butler to Miami (and stretch-center Meyers Leonard via Portland) was on its face a mutual parting of ways by two parties that were seemingly moving on to bigger and better things, but in true Hassan Whiteside fashion, he's gone and made it uncomfortable.

It all began immediately following the trade when Whiteside posted, and then deleted, a video on Instagram that was clearly an overzealous attempt to appear happy about the news that he was no longer a member of the team that gave him an opportunity to go from playing in the YMCA to inking a $100 million NBA contract in just a few years.
Seemingly harmless, right? After everything the organization and its fans have been through with this knucklehead, one last dumb social media post from Whiteside would have fizzled out and been forgotten in the aftermath of the Heat acquiring Jimmy Butler. It would have, had Meyers Leonard's wife, Elle Leonard, not taken a not-so-subtle jab at the center her husband was set to replace in Miami:
That's well played. A player's wife making it rain jumpers in the gym, throwing your phrase back at you? That's just good, clean fun. Whiteside can't hate it. He really couldn't reply, either. You don't trash-talk players' wives. Until a Heat player trolled Whiteside's "shooters" comments, it wouldn't officially be a beef.

Enter new Heat first-round pick, the human bucket, Tyler Herro. He's a shooter. He's been known to talk some trash on the court. And he is here to throw all the hot sauce on Whiteside's Insta-fingers spicy talk.
As you might have expected, it didn't take long for Whiteside to respond. He was back on his Insta-BS in no time, cutting a video that apparently takes aim at Herro being nothing but a shooter with no handles:
Whenever the Heat's schedule comes out, you can go ahead and circle the Trailblazers as one of those games you'll want to see. Forget a Christmas game, LeBron and the Lakers, and Jimmy Butler playing his old 76ers team — give us all the Whiteside-versus-Heat revenge games. Let the Heat rain 15 three-pointers on the Trailblazers while Whiteside watches the fourth-quarter in foul trouble because he's incapable of guarding Meyers Leonard on the three-point line.

Inject a Hassan Whiteside/Miami Heat heel-turn NWO rivalry into our veins. We're here for this mess. 
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Ryan Yousefi is a freelance writer for Miami New Times, a lover of sports, and an expert consumer of craft beer and pho. Hanley Ramirez once stole a baseball from him and to this day still owes him $10.