Now that Herald TV critic Glenn Garvin is allowed to air his libertarian views once in a while in a separate column, you'd think he'd stop hiding them in his boob tube reviews. Boy, would you be wrong, you satanist tree hugger.
Garvin sinks into Ken Burns's The National Parks: America's Best Idea with the glee of a loon looking for "Paul Is Dead" messages in Beatles songs, but in this case, it seems, he's trying to prove national parks are part of some sort of liberal, anti-Christian conspiracy theory.
The funny thing is that Garvin heavily criticizes Burns for going on and on and on and on and on about biased nonsense, which would also be a suitable criticism for the column itself.
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to Miami New Times's mission. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling Miami's stories with no paywalls.
Support Our Journalism
Here's the money shot:
"But actually it's parks that are unnatural. They're an attempt to impose stasis on nature, to halt its evolutionary change. Conservationist zealots like Burns are the ones who deny a human relationship with nature, because they treat man as the lone creature with no right to modify his environment."
Is that really the point of having parks? Because, you know, most of the Miami doorsteps Glenn's column landed on sit atop drained swampland that would have been uninhabitable a century ago. The point of parks is that we are the lone creature who can drastically modify our environments, but maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't hurt to preserve a few areas, at the very least, for the baby animals -- and scenic postcard views.