Dwyane Wade's New Nickname: "Chef Wade"

Even without LeBron, the Heat proved Sunday they can still dish out the L's.

Dwyane Wade showed America exactly why the Internet has given him his newest nickname: "Chef Wade." He baked up that good ya'll-musta-forgot cake Sunday afternoon meal. The ingredients included: 23 points, 10 rebounds, seven assists, two steals, and one block. Publix was all out of shits given about retirement rumors, so Wade just substituted nuts -- hope you're not allergic to these nuts, Steven A. Smith and Skip Bayless.

Wade was serving it up all afternoon, treating the Chicago Bulls to a variety of different flavors of his Miami raised G.O.A.T. In all, it was a lazy Sunday afternoon 10 bucket course meal for the Bulls, understated, yet at the same time, deliciously complex. Very clean. Very refined. The meal was paired fabulously for Bulls players with a bottle of the finest Joakhim Noah whine. Heat fans enjoyed the meal with a Derrick Rose tearstini.

Heat fans, happy with the 93-79 victory meal, used Twitter to give their complements to the chef all night long.

Wade wasn't the only one cooking yesterday, Chris Bosh came to flame broil fools too. Bosh offered guests 28 points and a twist on Wade's 10 rebound dish, different, yet equally as tasty. Bulls players were reluctant to taste Bosh's jumper, but eventually sampled it, and were treated to extra helpings all game long.

Poor Mario Chalmers, even when he cooks up 12 points and nine assists, people can't remember his name. Barry Chalmers gets no respect out on these culinary streets.

Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories


All-access pass to top stories, events and offers around town.

Sign Up >

No Thanks!

Remind Me Later >