Donald Trump Tells University of Miami to Hire Mike Leach

Douche respects douche. So it's really no surprise that Donald Trump, of all people, really wants the University of Miami to hire Mike Leach, of all coaches. The Donald, or perhaps some sentient being living deep in the recesses of his hair, ripped out a page from The Palm Beach Post, scrawled an angry letter to UM president Donna Shalala in sharpie and then sent it off (probably just stapling a $100 bill to the envelope in lieu of a stamp).

"You made a big mistake when you did not take my advice and hire Mike Leach of Texas Tech ... and you can now get him for the right price," Trump wrote over a story on former coach Randy Shannon's firing.

The letter was immediately authenticated by the University.

Trump first made his desire for the 'Canes to hire Leach known back in 2006 after Larry Coker was fired. He apparently knows Shalala (naturally) and reached out to her to let her know she should hire Leach. She ignored his advice, and went on to say "You're Hired" to Shannon.

You just know Trump is one of those people who just loves to be proven right. He probably keeps a file of all the unsolicited advice he's given to people over the years, and when they don't take it and their decision fails, he jumps on his chance to do the "Na, na, na, told ya so" dance. Of course Trump is that kind of person. He probably has a dedicated staff keeping up with that kind of thing. I think that's what winners of The Apprentice actually do.

Leach however ended up getting fired last year at Texas Tech after allegations he kept a player who suffered a concussion sequestered in a dark garage instead of making sure he got proper medical care. Shalala, as the former Secretary of Health and Human Services, probably won't overlook something like that. Trump could have him on a season of Celebrity Apprentice if he was that concerned for the mans' employment.

In any event, we should have known Trump was a 'Canes fan. It's quite obvious his hair is an attempt to synthetically recreate Jimmy Johnson's signature '80s do.

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Kyle Munzenrieder