Ostensibly, Winter Music Conference and Miami Music Week provide thousands of very serious electronic dance music fans with an annual opportunity to meet, mingle, and discuss the current state of EDM.
But c'mon, that's bullshit. The truth: Both WMC and MMW are just excuses for totally out-of-control beat freaks to strip down, oil up, and shake ass at a pool party while chugging too many mojitos, popping too many pills, and humping too many strangers on a pile of soggy hotel towels.
So stop using words like "zeitgeist," forget setting up a "symposium on glitch-house," and just slip into a string bikini or padded banana hammock. Here is New Times' pool party guide for Winter Music Conference and Miami Music Week.