Photo courtesy of Happy Stork Lounge

Happy's Stork Lounge and Liquor

If you seek a place where the booze is cheap and the patrons are salty drunks, look no further than this joint and package store on the 79th Street Causeway midway between the mainland and the Beach. Head there straight from work (assuming you have a job), order a beer, and strike up a conversation with someone who can tell you what's really going on around here. Like the brilliant/crazy dude who has lined the walls with his weird straw sculptures. Or the ornery drunk who's about to get thrown out for refusing to pay his $30 tab because (he insists) his glass is dirty. Play a game of pool on the chalk-dusty table, or enjoy a saucy game of strip poker on the coin-op machine. Bonus: If you're looking to hide from your pretentious friends or Brady Bunch home life, this is probably the last place your usual posse would think of looking for you. Happy's also operates as a package store that's open till 5 a.m., in the event the occasion requires moving the party elsewhere in the wee small hours in the morning.