The qualities of a good dive bar run counter to evolution. The best ones refuse to adapt to gimmicky trends like Tulum-inspired décor, liquid-nitrogen mocktails, and regular mopping protocols. Perhaps no dive bar has stayed more the same over the years — defying survival in a town of rising seas, rents, and cocktail prices — than Happy's Stork Lounge, a blink-and-you'll-miss-it bar attached to a liquor store in a nondescript strip mall on the 79th Street Causeway. It's dark and smoky inside, with wood paneling from the Reagan administration and a silver-hued cash register rumored to have once held dollar bills bearing Frank Sinatra's fingerprints (when Ol' Blue Eyes played at the former piano bar next door). Happy-hour prices likewise hark back to the previous millennium: $4 well drinks and domestic beers from 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. every day. Require more bona fides? Happy's boasts the only liquor store open until 5 a.m. for miles around, and the bar side regularly fills with late-working industry folks until close. The only clues that you have not accidentally stepped into an awesome, boozy time machine and unfortunately remain fixed in the 21st Century: the digital jukebox and flat-screen TV that's broadcasting Heat games or NASCAR races.