Pop quiz. Yard House is totally bad-ass because:A. you met Yard House, and he is a very naughty donkey. B. the draft beer selection includes Stone IPA, Abita Purple Haze, Old Speckled Hen, Magic Hat, Spaten Optimator, Rogue's Shakespeare Stout, Arrogant Bastard, Erdinger, Delirium Tremens, Pumpkinhead, plus 99 others (not bottles, nor on the walls) on tap.C. it has half-price happy hours: Every Monday through Wednesday from 3 to 6 p.m. and Sunday through Wednesday from 10 p.m. to close, you can stick up a pinkie with pride while sucking down a pint (or goblet) of brew for just $3.50 to $5. And yes, there are two happy hours Monday through Wednesday! D. it offers a beer sampler. It comes with six revolving five-ounce beer shots for $8.95. Selections change every Tuesday. E. it has beer blends and floats. Sure, most snobs think black-and-tans (Bass Ale and Guinness Stout) are blasphemy, but apparently they haven't tried a black velvet (Woodchuck Pear Cider and Guinness Stout), a rose garden (Hoegaarden and Lindeman's), or a Young's Chocolate Stout float served with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. F. All of the above, with the exception of A.Supersecret answer: F

During one of Germany's numerous bloody battles, an officer, hoping to boost the morale of his troops, announced that if they kicked the enemy's ass, he'd drink beer out of his boot. His troops soon emerged victorious, the battlefield lined with carcasses. While the dying enemy choked out its last breath, the officer raised his boot, filled it to the sweaty brim with beer, and drank as his men cheered. Germans still drink from boots — they're really two-liter Stiefel glasses — in a sort of hazing drinking game that tests the resilience of livers. One of the best places to play Pass the Stiefel is the Royal Bavarian Schnitzel Haus, nestled between Little Haiti and the 79th Street Causeway. This isn't a tourist trap with beer wenches in braids who hand out plump pretzels and Heinekens. It's a deliciously kitschy Bavarian restaurant, complete with pungent cabbage dishes and premium German beers on tap. Order one of the oldest German black beers, Köstritzer Schwarzbier, brewed in Deutschland since 1543, or one of the best-selling drafts in Germany, Bitburger Pils. The wheaty Falkensteiner Hefe gets better as it warms, and the Paulaner Märzen will make your Oktoberfest celebration much more authentic. But spill beer from the Stiefel and suffer a public embarrassment of your cohorts' choosing. So unless you don't mind wearing your underwear as outerwear, perhaps it's best you stick to the Schnitzel Haus's more manageable .05-liter Steins. Prost, damit de Gurgel net verrost. (Cheers, so that your throat won't rust.)

Miami has enough velvet-rope-and-$25-valet nightclubs to keep Ed Hardy and your local Ecstasy dealer in the money for life. What it doesn't have enough of, though, is the sort of bar where you can show up in casual clothes, have a conversation without screaming over club music, and spend a night getting tipsy on premium beer accompanied with a good nosh. That's why we're so happy to welcome Lou's Beer Garden, an understated outdoor poolside bar and kitchen in the courtyard of the New Hotel in Miami Beach. It's like a taste-bud-friendly Miami version of Cheers: You show up for one beer but end up getting sloshed on five high-octane brews such as Bieres de Chimay Triple and Rogue Brewery's Double Dead Guy Ale while cracking wise with the other barflies. You're given carte blanche with the single flat-screen's remote control, and the bartenders are all regulars who never left. When you get really trashed, feel free to jump into the pool with your clothes on. And make sure you don't have a reason to leave; the bar that bills itself as "Miami Beach's first gastropub" has a menu full of gourmet grub including tasty pizzas, eight-ounce Black Angus burgers, and Ibérico squid.

There is a plethora of possible reasons the Gansevoort named its 18th-story, rooftop pool bar Plunge. If you fall off the building, you could plunge to your death, or you can take a plunge in the pool. Regardless of the apellation's origin, Plunge hits the damn-this-is-nice mark the second you lay eyes on it. Though the pool is reserved for hotel guests until 8 p.m. (except during spring/summer Saturday pool parties), anyone can come up and sit at the bar or lounge on the sofas. The Plexiglas walls afford ridiculous views of the Atlantic Ocean and the Magic City (even from the bathrooms), and the breeze never seems to cease. During the day, it offers anyone an excuse to unwind and try the signature pink elephant (vodka, champagne, lime, fresh mint, and strawberries); at night, Plunge transforms into a party playground.

The last place anyone expects to find anything remotely hip is Ocean Drive. But the renovated Betsy Hotel has done just that with its speakeasy space, B Bar. Described as a "jewel box," the lounge transports you to something akin to an obscure New York hot spot. Even if you stay at the Betsy, chances are you won't easily find the lounge. To arrive at the entrance, you must descend a small set of stairs, walk through what looks like a service hallway, and knock on a nondescript door. Once you are permitted to enter (not everyone is so lucky), you'll find the most gorgeously decorated space in all of the Magic City — a stark contrast to the safe design of the rest of the hotel. Let your eyes adjust to the dim lighting, and take in the dark hues, softly lit bar, and cozy yet elegant space. The real shocker here, though, is the low ceiling covered in reflective vinyl that can feel disorienting — particularly when a DJ turns up the bass and it vibrates.

Perhaps you've eaten the homemade dim sum at Miss Yip and wondered what the heck is going on upstairs. That's Buck15. Nestled on the second floor, it is a no B.S., funky-fresh, lounge-meets-art-gallery getaway. If South Florida allowed for basements and attics, this is what you'd want yours to look like. Comfy brown couches contrast with changing art installations such as bright graffiti by Atomik or murals by Victor-Hugo. Each night, the music covers everything from electro to hip-hop, adding to the overall sensory satisfaction. Nightly drink specials are cheap, there's no cover, and the place is open until 5 a.m. Get Buck, Miami.

Burger & Beer Joint has taken South Beach by storm with its delicious and reasonably priced hamburgers, unpretentious atmosphere, and consistency. The real draw for sports fans and tipplers alike is the adjacent bar, where eight flat-screen TV sets show every game imaginable — from football and basketball to baseball and boxing. This is the go-to spot during big-ticket events such as UFC matches, the Final Four, and the Super Bowl. For the inaugural Super Bowl presentation this past February, the action also moved upstairs, where a 120-inch projection screen was set up for the New Orleans Saints-loving crowd. Miami's European, soccer-crazy community should look elsewhere, though. B&B is strictly an Americana zone. Nevertheless, drinks are cheap (for South Beach), especially during happy hour (half-price Monday through Friday from 5 to 7 p.m.). The sports bar is open daily beginning at 5 p.m. during the week and at noon on weekends. B&B's full menu is served until 5 a.m., making the place a late-night haunt for bartenders, hostesses, and waiters from all over South Beach. Where else can you get turkey burgers, alcohol-spiked milkshakes, and the highlights from the Fins game at 4 a.m.? Plus there's no doorman, bullshit attitude, or bottle requirement at this locals-friendly watering hole.

Some people call it Space Southwest because of the night-to-morning party-monster atmosphere. Here you'll find the club youth of Kendall who prefer big-room house to ale house. Expect a dress code, cover charge, and hours of thumping bass. Chongas and chicos de la saguesera throw down intoxicated dance moves under flashing colored lights. When you leave in the morning, you'll notice the club is in a suburban Kendale Lakes strip mall behind a Wendy's, and it will just add to the experience. ¡Dale!

We thought local business impresario Amir Ben-Zion would retreat quietly into Miami nightlife history after he shut down Domo Japones in the Design District. We were wrong. This past October, he opened Bardot, which reminds us of the late Pawn Shop Lounge. Knickknacks and suggestive artwork from Ben-Zion's personal collection are strewn across the space. Though the address says North Miami Avenue, the entrance is located in the back. The only hint of it is a simple red awning. Get there before 11 p.m. and beat the mad rush; capacity is limited due to fire codes. During the high season, the lounge hosts a two-for-one happy hour from 6:30 to 9 p.m. In the summer, though, doors are open only from 8 p.m. until 5 a.m. Well drinks start at $9, but try the specialty cocktails for $12. There's the "honey mule," a mix of Russian Standard vodka, ginger beer, honey syrup, and fresh-pressed ginger. Or go for the namesake cocktail, the Brigitte, which blends Russian Standard vodka, crème de noisette, and Kahlúa.

There's nothing about the Room that's reassuring. It's a damp, dark grotto on the southernmost tip of the beach. Conversation is inaudible and overlapping, like in a Robert Altman movie. Seats? Forget about it. The leather barstools, back bench, and misplaced ottomans in this gulag are invariably taken up by the regulars who get there at 7 p.m., when the bar opens. Yet this seven-year-old joint is comfortingly familiar. It's far removed from the usual mess of South Beach, so there's never much foot traffic outside the concealed hole-in-the-wall on First Street. You might run into a couple of lost, vacationing Australians from the hostels in the neighborhood. Inside, it is spa-dark, with a few candles sputtering behind the counter, as if the bartender wants to rub your shoulders while telling you a bedtime story. This is a place that would welcome the weariest drunk after a nightlong bender. And the sprawling beer menu — almost 80 brands from around the world — make it an inviting place to get shit-faced. The Room is the Epcot of booze. Owner Craig Weiss says he didn't open the place just for beer snobs; he did it to educate South Florida's palate. So bartenders don't scoff when someone asks for a Corona. Instead, they suggest Costa Rican lager Imperial ($9) or a Japanese Hitachino wheat ale ($9). The Room is open seven days a week from 7 p.m. to 5 a.m.