Ancient peoples used piercing as a way to protect themselves from evil spirits, yet today we use it as a way to look more badass. There's something about a bar through the bridge of your nose that makes grandmas clutch their purses and bad-boy-lovin' beauties cream themselves. Since we were born with a set number of holes in our bodies, and sticking a diamond stud into your armpit is no fun, the piercing salon is a necessary piece of the rebellious puzzle. You'll want to make sure the joint is clean and all of the equipment is too — two things that you don't have to worry about at the Industry. This sleek shop outfitted in black and red is the place to get fly, get tatted, and, of course, get holey. This isn't your mall Piercing Pagoda — the pros here can put holes where you didn't know they could exist. Ladies can take a walk on the sexy side and get the "corset," a collection of bars that run up your back, lace-up style. The Industrial — a bar across the top of the ear — will run you $80, and the traditional lobe poke is just $20. Getting pierced, um, down there, can cost you up to $300. Ouch.

Chop Shop Barbershop

When Amir Youseff and his brother Big Ed decided they were gonna open a barbershop in the 305 two years ago, the New Jersey natives banked on a name that would bring instant brand recognition. So they created the Chop Shop, a men's hair- and beard-trimming spot that incorporates the look and feel of an automobile body shop, where the employees treat your mane like it was a tricked-out 1966 Chevy Impala, giving it the finest touchups a sweet ride deserves. Customers lounge in leather bucket racecar seats while they wait. Industrial-size Craftsman tool boxes replace traditional barber counters. Faux body shop garage doors in the rear of the space add a final touch to the motif. "We pay a lot of attention to detail," Youseff says. "We try to make our shop as comfortable as possible for the client." Today, the Chop Shop is a hustling, bustling spot where celebrities such as former NBA star Anfernee "Penny" Hardaway, rock star Lenny Kravitz, boxer Shannon Briggs, and hip-hop music video director Gil Green have stopped in to get a cut. But don't let the star-studded photos on the wall intimidate you. There is nothing pretentious about this place. All customers get the same love as celebs: The wall facing the "Wall of Fame" is crowded with Polaroids of the everyday joes who frequent the Chop Shop. Explains Youseff: "We want the regular guy to be treated the same way."

If you've ever had to hold down a squirming, screaming child for a trim, Kids or Not is the place for you. The salon offers a fun environment for kids' haircuts: Children sit in toy racecars while kid-friendly stylists cut and style their hair. It also offers nail painting, hair accessories, and birthday parties in a "Princess" section of the shop. Kids or Not, which also caters to adults, aims to make haircuts an exciting experience rather than a dreaded chore.

GBS, The Beauty Store, Coral Gables

Once upon a time, there was a little princess born with a wild mess of thick, coily locks. As she grew up, all of the pretty, fair-haired maidens in the kingdom laughed and pointed at her. Some yelled, "Rat's nest!" and threw bottles of straightening gel at her head. Fearing she'd never find a prince, she spent hundreds of dollars on irons and smoothing products. Then, one day, she stumbled into GBS Salon in Coral Gables. There a friendly effeminate Cuban stylist convinced her he could magically transform her kinky straggles. He explained he had been trained just for the occasion — that he'd studied the DevaCut (created by celebrity stylist Lorraine Massey, author of Curly Girl). So the princess felt safe as he dry-cut her mop, thinning each spiral individually into a shapely sculpture. Afterward, she looked in the mirror and — poof — a flowing stream of shiny curls sat obediently at her shoulders. She paid him $80, tipped well, and was out the door before he could ask, "Want to hunt for princes together?"

Uni.K.Wax Center

Ever since the ancient Egyptians discovered that a unibrow limited one's dates, both men and women have been torturing themselves to achieve smooth, hairless skin. With multiple locations across town, Uni.K.Wax has been keeping South Floridians baby-ass smooth the past 15 years by using their patented green herbal wax that makes the process pain-free. Even if you aspire to be as supple to the stroke as Dr. Evil's wrinkled pussy, Mr. Bigglesworth, these folks can lay waste to your follicles head to toe, but their eyebrow treatment is fast and only $16.

NOMI Pilates

A few years ago, Pilates broke into the collective consciousness of fit Americans looking for the latest trend. However, the practice has been in use since World War I, when founder Joseph Pilates developed the techniques to help rehabilitate injured vets. We know, you don't give a damn about how it came about — results, results, results is what you want. How are increased flexibility, graceful range of motion, perfected posture, and long, lean muscles? If those results are good enough for building the bods of boxers, ballerinas, and B-list celebs, it sounds like a program we can believe in. And if gym-grown muscles scare you, Pilates gives you all of the strength with none of the bulk. Naomi Lowit, board-certified instructor and owner of NOMI Pilates, brings an A-list experience to the masses and gives Miami girls and guys the beach bods of their dreams. Lowit offers introductory sessions for just $300, which buys three private classes and three with a group — the perfect price and strategy to get you on the road to sexy.

Sure, there are plenty of fancy-pants spas in town, but with the recession threatening to crater the world as we know it, we've got to keep our splurges within reason. And there's no better place for working girls looking to indulge in an orgy of hedonistic excess than this soothing health retreat. It's a full day's pampering fit for a queen. Nouvelle offers services ranging from facials to manicures, pedicures, massages, and exotic spa packages anyone can afford. Need to tighten your sagging skin for wedding photos? Check out Nouvelle's strong herbal peel, using a custom blend of proteins, silicates, sea salt, and calcium guaranteed to knock years off of that weary mug.

The Laser Center of Coral Gables

Staffed by doctors Albert Aran and Adam Stelzer, two of Florida's finest eye surgeons, this über-friendly, state-of-the-art practice will tweak your peepers into 20/20 perfection in super-fast time. Thousands of their clients, who have ditched their contacts and eyeglasses to become free of their Mr. Magoo-like fumbling, swear by these guys. The procedure is quick, uncomplicated, and painless, and the center offers free consultations. Best of all, you can charge the procedure on a credit card, be out in a flash, and even claim the surgery as a deductible when you file that income tax.

Bin No. 18
Courtesy of Bin No. 18

Overzealous lovers of vodkas and gins and cognacs are called alcoholics no matter which way you slice it, but wine lovers' affection for their potion is so severe they have their own cute little moniker: wino. These grape-loving creatures roam the Earth searching for a vine from the right place at the right time. They twirl wine glasses, looking at legs and sniffing the head. They let the juice coat their tongues and, finally, let it trickle down their throats. Mmmmm. Bin No. 18 is an enophile's dream. A cadre of more than 50 varieties of wine (priced $24 to $110) from across the globe lines the right wall of the restaurant, begging you to try a flight for lunch or six for dinner. Merlot maniacs and Riesling rioters alike can choose their poison from a list that categorizes by Lean and Racy, Stylish and Palatable, or Elegant and Round. Or you could lay back and be a lush while one of the waiters chooses the best grape to pair with your dinner of eight-ounce Angus New York strip or filet mignon. You can try the Verdejo from Spain or a Sangiovese from Italy, and you won't even need your passport. The icing on this drunken cake: The bottles are priced at up to 50 percent off retail, and this full-service bistro serves delicious food.

M & B Liquors

It's 2 p.m. on a Tuesday and you're craving something stronger than the 2 percent milk in your fridge. You tell yourself a bit of Belvedere would be nice, a shot of Scotch even more proper, and a jigger of Jäger would be right on time. The problem? You're home alone, in a full body cast, and controlling everything around you with a long stick outfitted with a prosthetic hand. The solution? Call up M & B Liquors and have a bottle of your favorite spirits delivered to your bedside. Every type of firewater is fair game, from wine to beer, liquor, and a $1,799.99 bottle of Louis XIII. You may think that liquor delivery is excessive, but this is South Beach, baby, and nothing is too convenient. Have the kind folks at M & B bring your sauce to the beach, the pool, or your mom's house on Passover. As long as your location is in Miami Beach from First to 40th Street, consider yourself served.

Best Of Miami®

Best Of Miami®