Who cares if noted fashion designer Michael Kors said her clothes concoctions "belong strictly with flip-flops on Ocean Drive." No one cares what a stuffy old queen has to say anyway. We, on the other hand, love Uli's "Miami-esque" fashion designs. And though she came in second place to dirtbag designer Jeffrey Sebelia and lost out on $100,000, a Macy's mentorship, and a Saturn Sky Roadster, Herzner still got a dreamy opportunity: to show off her line during New York's famed Fashion Week. And her shimmering silvery minidress was sold for $3425 during an online auction on www.projectrunway.com. By comparison, Sebelia's garish striped dress fetched only $2900. Take that, punk rock loser! It won't be long before Uli says auf Wiedersehen to Miami for fashion stardom in the Big Apple.

It's not easy seeing green in this city — so Barnes Park is nothing less than a 65-acre oasis from the mean streets and concrete deserts of Miami, and a great spot to round up the crew for a picnic. There are dozens of grills available for public use, and the picnic sites are spacious and well spread out. The park is one of the last pine rocklands in the area, and the trees provide ample (and oh-so-rare) shade from the South Florida sun. According to the Audubon Society, Barnes Park is one of the best places in the county to see migrating birds, and there are nice paths for walking or bike riding. There's even a nature center for the kids, which houses the Miami-Dade Fire Department Anti-Venom Unit's collection of snakes. The park is open from sunrise to sunset; group camping is available as well. Entrance to the park, of course, is free.

She's the first county commissioner to receive a recall vote since 1972. At taxpayer expense, she hired lawyers in an attempt to stop the vote on the strong-mayor debate. Pushing her personal vendetta even further, in November 2006 she proposed cutting the mayor's salary from $229,083 to $12,000. Carlos Alvarez called the suggestion "childish." She backed moving the Urban Development Boundary. She called her detractors anti-Cuban, saying, "These are a bunch of racists from South Dade who don't want us in power." She epitomizes everything that's wrong with single-member districts (or, for a loyal constituency in Hialeah, everything that's right). Seijas has made herself unlikable in the past — in 2002 she told then-county commission chairwoman Gwen Margolies: "Today is the day you might just leave here in a body bag" — but never so much as in the past twelve months. Commissioner Seijas, we salute you.

A quick survey around New Times headquarters about flying kites unearthed a multitude of childhood memories about Tropical Park. Enter through the Miller Road entrance and there's a hill by the lake. Climb the hill, assemble your kite, take a deep breath, and run down the slope. The string will unwind from the spool and the kite will catch a breeze from the lake. With a tug, it will suddenly catch an updraft. Sweaty and exhilarated, slow your pace. Watch it soar.

When colorful attorney Ellis Rubin died of cancer in December, most people remembered the 81-year-old for his unconventional — some say theatrical — legal strategies and larger-than-life clients. In fact he is known nationally as the first lawyer who wanted to use the now-common "TV intoxication" defense in the notorious 1977 Ronnie Zamora murder trial. What people didn't know was that this same attorney also wore a white hat. He consistently battled racial discrimination, and in 1954 the Florida Junior Chamber of Commerce named him one of the "most outstanding young men" of the state for defending — free of charge — scores of indigent young African Americans. However, he said his proudest moment was being jailed on a contempt of court charge for refusing to represent a client he knew was going to perjure himself. His list of clients was equally impressive. He represented Mercury Morris, Jackie Mason, Hedy Lamar, the Guardian Angels, and another recently deceased local, E. Howard Hunt.

What the hell is pine rocklandç It's what used to cover much of the Miami Rock Ridge and other sections of South Florida. Much of this ecosystem is now gone, but there are still outcroppings here and there where you can get a taste of what this region used to look like. A.D. Barnes Park is one of these natural museums, and a magnet for bird life that has not yet moved out to the country. The National Audubon Society has named it one of the top ten birding locations in Florida and it is part of the Great Florida Birding Trail. Over the years almost 200 species of birds have been spotted here, including the swallow-tailed kite, ruby-throated hummingbird, cedar waxwing, red-shouldered hawk, greenback heron, red-wing blackbird, and a few lost parakeets as well.

Mary Athalie Range started out as a typical Miami transplant, but her decades of civic activism and public service became one of the city's great stories. In the late Forties, conditions at her children's Liberty City school jump-started the activist in Range. Her successful work in the PTA opened doors that eventually led to her becoming the first African-American woman to sit on the Miami City Commission. There she fought hard to correct the injustices that had long made life difficult for African Americans and other minority groups. By 1971 she had proven her effectiveness so thoroughly that then-Gov. Rubin Askew appointed her the secretary of the Department of Community Affairs for the State of Florida. When she passed away this past November at age 91, she was still active as the chair of the Virginia Key Beach Park Trust, and busy with restoration of the historic black sections of Virginia Key. She earned many citations for her public work, but she was also successful in the private sector as director of Range Funeral Homes, which still operate today. Thank you, Commissioner Range.

We all know Pennekamp State Park is for the tourists and Biscayne National Park is for the serious snorkelers, but sometimes you just want to swim off the beaten path. A few miles west of Pennekamp is a popular snorkeling and recreation spot called Indian Key Historic State Park. It lies unconnected to the Overseas Highway, which means you can only reach it by boat, kayak, or heavy-duty swim fins, but rentals and tours are available from nearby marinas. (Robbie's Marina is a popular one, where you can also hand-feed large tarpon.) Instead of a sandy beach, the island has a coral/rocky shoreline with plentiful sea life just inches away from shore. Dolphins, manatees, sharks, rays, crabs, and lobster are seen frequently in the flats, while large fish are visible in the channels. The island itself is a historic site. It was the former Dade County seat (until Monroe County was established in 1836), and is home to a sunken galleon salvage fleet and Dr. Henry Perrine's botanical garden. Native Americans used it for thousands of years before that. Though most of the buildings are gone, lots of artifacts — including Perrine's plants — remain. Don't forget your diver down flag.

It's the day after Thanksgiving! What should we doç We could eat turkey sandwiches and draw cartoons. Or go to Wal-Mart at 5:30 a.m. and jostle Christmas shoppers.... Hey, I know! Let's put on our FBI polo shirt and fatigues. We can pretend our fake machine gun is real. Then we can barricade ourselves inside the newsroom of El Nuevo Herald and proclaim ourselves editor! The mayor, the police chief, the FBI, CNN, the local news media, and various SWAT teams are probably bored as hell. They'll love it! Whyç What do you mean, "why"ç

The future is now! Well, almost. Somewhere along the way, the Jetsonesque future that baby boomers envisioned disappeared. Instead of personal space ships, we got the Segway. Instead of Rosie the Maid, we got the Swiffer Sweeper. Instead of incredibly tall, funky-looking skyscrapers ... oh, we did get those, and we also got living quarters under the sea. Though it's not the quite the Taj Mahal of futuristic sea labs, Jules' Undersea Lodge is probably the only chance you'll get to sleep with the fishes — the easy way. Basically this is a completely submerged hotel — even the entrance is underwater. It also doubles as an artificial reef, so there is guaranteed sea life to observe through the large windows. As well as the usual hotel amenities, they have a chef, and offer scuba instruction so that novice guests can enjoy the facility to its fullest. Maybe you'll even meet a mermaid and robotic dolphin and invite them over to watch TV.