The No-Name Fish

It seems like only yesterday that the Miami Marlins were the toast of baseball. They had a new stadium, new uniforms, and an entire TV show revolving around them. Cue the salsa band! Then they had to actually play games, and the result has been a season of utter embarrassment. Cue the sad trombone. What was supposed to be a fun year filled with excitement and the thrill of a feisty ball club led by the incomparable Ozzie Guillen has turned into a circus act of crap. With the team floundering and flailing and being a total mess on the field, the Marlins have been forced to dump salary and trade away big chips such as Hanley Ramirez, Anibal Sanchez, and Omar Infante. Meanwhile, Logan Morrison has been sent down to the minors to try to shake off the suck, and Giancarlo Stanton is on a slow recovery back from knee surgery. But hey, Heath Bell and his 5.75 ERA are still around, so we’ve got that going for us. The remainder of this season will be as depressing as hell, but at least there’s a chance to see the shiny new prospects Miami got in return for all the trades. So head to Marlins Park (1390 NW Sixth St., Miami) this Monday to watch Miami host the Philadelphia Phillies — you know, before the Marlins’ no-name players become household names and are traded away.
Mon., Aug. 13, 7:10 p.m., 2012
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Chris Joseph

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