Paris Is Yearning

Watching The Simple Life makes you irate. You know in your soul that you are a much better match to be Paris Hilton’s BFF than Nicole Richie. And now that the Nickster has traded her flask and sleeping aids for a stroller and a wedding band, Paris is a lone...

By Jamie Laughlin

April 10, 2008

Audio By Carbonatix

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Watching The Simple Life makes you irate. You know in your soul that you are a much better match to be Paris Hilton’s BFF than Nicole Richie. And now that the Nickster has traded her flask and sleeping aids for a stroller and a wedding band, Paris is a lone wolf. She needs someone at her side to notate what is and isn’t “hot.” She needs a friend to help cock-block the paparazzi. Damn it, she needs you. Flaunt whatcha got and let casting directors know you deserve to be on the new reality TV show Paris Hilton’s My New BFF during today’s auditions.

To qualify for a shot on the show (20 perspective platonic soulmates will be chosen from across the nation), you have to meet a minimal amount of specific criteria. Namely, you must be either (1) a “hot bitch” or (2) a “fabulously fierce gay man.” And you need to be 21 or older while still looking younger than 30. Finally, you’ve gotta sign up: e-mail [email protected] for a chance at an interview; they will be held for the next four days (starting today!) in various “hot” Fort Lauderdale and Miami locations. Check out the show’s website, www.parisbff.com.
Thu., April 10, 2008

Jamie Laughlin

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